Silent Sermon Sunday

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka She Who Has Homework To Do

I Couldn't Have Predicted

If you're a follower here at Your Mother Knows, you know it's my mission to share with you things I've learned regardless of the fact that it might not be something many talk about... I want to give you some advanced warning about some of these serious life questions.

The other day, my Best Friend Forever, Pam and I were talking about stuff and she said, "I just feel like I want to yell and scream!  I'm going to be 62 years old in a couple of months and I just did NOT think it was going to be like this!!"

Upon talking further, she was stressed over her daughter not realizing that the things she'd like Pam to do to make her life easier make Pam's life harder; things like watching her granddaughter 50 hours a week without being paid in order to help her daughter save money...

Or, her husband figuring that because she's home all day, she can deal with the house work and the gardening, the major home improvement projects, and the finances because, after all, he works all day and since she's home not doing anything important...! Pam's frustrated because doing everything she can for everyone else means that she doesn't have time or energy to do anything she likes to do for herSelf. And not doing anything for yourSelf leaves you worn out and cranky.

Really, it wasn't anything monumental that was so upsetting to her. Just the normal stuff of life being burdensome at times and everyone else thinking that they have it harder than you do, without stopping to consider how many demands they heap on your not-as-young-as-you-once-were head.

Pam uttered, "I feel like I blinked and my life is gone and now I'm this age and wondering how I got here so fast!! I don't have the physical stamina or mental determination to just go, go, go! Nor do I want to, I just want to say, 'Give me an effin' break!'"

Instead, she simply sucks it up and continues to soldier on. To a large extent, I think that's what most of us attempt to do.  We just keep going until we can't.  It helped when I explained that I feel the very same way.  Then I added, "I go to bed most nights and think to mySelf, 'Is this all there is?  Is there nothing more to life when you're older than getting up each morning, going through your daily routine, only to climb back into bed each night?'" While we age, does our scope and ability to influence or be relevant simply slip away?

I couldn't have predicted how fast it all flies by! How do you find the joy and passion in life when who you were is not who you are now?  You don't have the professional cache' you once had. You don't have the energy to attack the chores and interests you once loved. It seems you're more what you're not than what you are.  And, the critical question becomes, who are you when your face begins to show its age and your mind no longer has the elasticity and your Spirit seems to sigh a lot more than it used to?

When you're young, you have a curiosity about what comes next; the next acquisition; the next accomplishment; the next relationship.  When you grow older, the world seems to grow smaller and the thrill seems harder to find.  Why? Is it that way for everyone?

This is one of my favorite pictures of Pam and me, circa 1981. I'm sure you could tell thanks to big sunglasses and bags. Yes, that's me with curly, permed hair which was the rage in the Big Hair 80s! It's a candid that captures what she and I do best with each other- LAUGH!  A lot.  I mean, hysterical laughter over the simplest things. We are best friends even though she lives on the Left Coast and I am here in the east.  We don't get to see each other often, but that's not changed how close we are. We find comfort in our shared experiences because it always helps to not feel alone. I know I took comfort in our conversation because she confirmed a lot of what I feel and haven't said about this entire aging thing. If I feel as if I'm whining about something, I have a tendency to just not talk about it at all.  However, not talking about it sure doesn't help me to gain any clarity.

The fact is, no one tells us how to navigate this phase of life.  We spend way more time telling a young girl what's going to happen once she gets her period!  But, how to love life as your physical self slows down?  No, we don't talk about that at all.

This quote by Friedan is my hope about aging, but I'm not there yet.  I'm almost 62 and I know that by today's standards that's not old.  But it ain't young either.  I know I'm only 28 years old in my head where I live and it's sunny all the time.  While I also know that when someone looks at me driving down the road, they probably see an old or older woman driving.  How does one reconcile who they are in their Spirit with who they have become as a physical entity?  If you know, please tell me.

Friend, Sheena, gave me a missing piece to this big puzzle when we talked recently. She was explaining that her doctor suggested that she get a second opinion about a medical issue that they still have yet to nail down.  Sheena said, "I told the doctor that I would consider that, but not now.  Just now, I don't want to go chasing further; I simply want to take a breath and live life.  I'll give myself time to just be and not worry so much about every little thing."  And, that makes so much sense to me that I want to give her a huge hug.

Maybe the key to aging with joy and grace is to accept it as it comes without putting so much comparison of what used to be on it. Perhaps it's about managing expectations of yourSelf by doing what you can, walking away from what you can't, and being kinder to yourSelf.  Stop comparing who you used to be with who you are currently. When you're tired, stop. When you're fretting, take a breath and let it be. Focus on what you can do when you're sick of obsessing about all you can't do. Don't sweat the small stuff and remember most of it is small stuff.

And, realize that while aging takes a great many things away from your life, it also gives you moments of joy and a richness to cherish.  This picture is Pam and me, circa 2013.  We're at the wedding of that little girl who is sitting in the stroller in that first picture! Aging has given me the gift of some very deep and critically marvelous relationships.  If I can only help mySelf adjust to the day to day of it all, I'm sure I can find a lot more to be positive about, than fearful of, aging.

I sure hope Mr. Lewis is right. I know Pammy is equally hopeful.  I wish all of us the joy of deepening knowledge and understanding as we grow older. I hope we find far better things than those we had to leave behind. Finally, I hold fast to the adage, "Growing old is mandatory; growing up is not." If Peter Pan escaped the growing up bit, perhaps I can as well.

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka She Who Knows It Goes By So Fast

Smooth As Silk

Al Jarreau, I will miss your smooth, silky sweet voice.  I will miss your beautiful smile and your soulful way of digging down into a song.

I will miss how you changed with the times and kept your vocal chops relevant.  I will miss your ability to put some bounce in our steps or calm us down and mellow us out. Your way of giving us a few moments when listening made us feel a bit hopeful for our day, our world.



"I hope you don't mind that I put down in words how wonderful life is while you are in my world...," because even though you are gone from it, your voice is still here with us.

And, that continues to give me hope. Thanks for the music, Mr. Jarreau.

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly

Out of The Blue

Out of no conscious thought of mine, the blue Medicine Buddha has appeared and taken up a great deal of my mind.

Generally, I spend time with Green Tara and occasionally White Tara may visit.  Even though I am a Reiki Master Teacher, the Blue Buddha has never spoken to me before.  But, I suppose my chaotic mind, which is so different from how I generally operate, has attracted this Great Divine Healer.

I am humbled.

Like any new relationship, it takes time to develop.  I had to do some research on this beautiful being. It's fascinating to learn that this Master Healer doesn't simply work on the physical disabilities and diseases that trouble so many.  He also works on healing the spiritual and emotional bodies.

I was very sick through most of January.  Now I am feeling better physically but exceedingly tired. My energy has seeped out and seems lost.  I walk about doing my chores and tasks without enthusiasm.  My emotional and mental bodies are slow, like how one is upon first waking.  A slight disconnect, a fuzziness that keeps me from seeing the colors brightly or feeling my feelings sharply.  I hope the Divine Healer will help sweep away the dust that covers my third eye.

One quality of this Being of which I was not aware is that he works on removing fear, panic, and intractable thinking.  Medicine Buddha softens our thoughts and turns them toward what is true and compassionate.  The world sure can use this right now.

And, I feel that my recent treatment from others has so stunned me that I am like a beacon of need. True need. In this moment.  At this time.

The Medicine Buddha reminds me that just as a cart follows the horse, my body follows my thoughts so I must remember to think positively and realistically.  I must remember that I am neither horse nor cart, but both. I am both.

I can see the clear blue light that comes from him especially at night before I drift to sleep.  It is the beauty of a cobalt blue bottle sitting in a sunny window.  The fascinating deep blue light streams in, captivates, and brings peace.  A deep breath.  A sigh.  A moment of comfort.

The Medicine Buddha is the color of lapiz lazuli.  The miracle stone.  Interestingly, my thyroid has been on the fritz and my doctor and I are working to bring it back into its normal way of being. I think I will wear this stone for awhile.

There are no coincidences when it comes to The Divine.  The Creator of All That Is, knows me and loves me.  And, I have been reminded that what is needed is always provided.

"Dearest Healing Buddha, please show us the power which heals all beings, removes the ignorance and obscuration of all beings and empower us to perform the great work. Let the minds' timeless light be recognized inside of me."

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka She Who Is Grateful

July 12 Another One

So any way you look at it, today is July 12 and that means I've seen this date dawn exactly 60 times.  60!  And that means that I went from 1 to 60 in a blink of an eye.

If you're younger than I am, you probably won't believe that it goes that quickly, but well, you'll find out.  Really.  It's just a question of time. For some reason, this birthday has really made me think.  60; it sounds so significant.  So old!  When I'm driving along and people look over at me, they're seeing an older woman, maybe even an old woman driving that car.  When I'm in the check out line at the grocery, it's an old woman who is chatting them up.  And on a good day, maybe they don't view me as old; maybe they appreciate me as wise and worldly.  I'm hoping that I'm thought of as that more than old, but hey, I've learned I can't control the thoughts of others.

60 years means I know that I need to be grateful because any day above the grass line is a day full of potential.  And I also realize the truth in the expression, "Do not grieve growing old; it's a privilege denied to many." So, I'm going to really dig down until I figure out what this turning to the start of my Sixth Decade actually means to me, why it seems so large and well, odd.  How can I actually be 60 when in my mind where I live and it's sunny all the time, I'm 28 years old?!

Life has changed so much in so many ways, not the least of it how we acknowledge birthdays.  This year, I received only five cards.  They're lined up on my mantle so I can see the bright colors and feel warm and happy.  Five doesn't sound like many, which it really isn't compared to previous years.  However, I got close to 100 wishes of various sorts and flavors on my Facebook page and my phone and in texts and email.  It's been an absolute blast reading and answering all of them.  Spending time with all of those who want me to remember what I mean to them.  It's a beautiful thing.  Truly.

This past year has been a difficult one in so many ways.  The loss of Rory & Fiona, those beloved Scotties of mine, still shakes me and can leave me sad unexpectedly.  Out of nowhere, they'll show up in my thoughts and I'm not yet at the place where those visits simply bring memories and not the jarrring hole their leaving has left behind. We had months of worrying about Evan during his third tour in the Middle East, but the gift this birthday is he's home state-side once again.

People have moved away, or have moved to Their Next Place.  I miss them, thinking of them often. Yet, I know this birthday means another year where I'm waiting to see who comes into my life to bring new and different experiences.

I have to recognize that if  I hadn't turned 60, I wouldn't be here to wonder about what good things are coming my way; what new people I'm going to meet; what experiences I'll have, so I suppose I'd better just celebrate this day as quite an accomplishment.  And that's what I'm going to do.

Hey, July 12...I've seen you 60 times!  And once again, thank the God & Goddess I have shared my day with my beloved, Michael.  We had meals out and conversation.  We sat in the companionable quiet when words eluded us as we spun our thoughts.  We took a nap listening to the rain drum on the windows. And, I am blessed.



So happy birthday to us July 12.  This is what 60 looks like on me.  And, I'm still a work in progress.

Namaste Till Next Time,
Holly aka She who is older than she once was but not as old as she'll one day be...

A Moment of Truth & Beauty

Yesterday, I raced in the door at T.K. Salon for my standing every four week haircut and chat with Noelle, my wonderful stylist.  Each month I walk in looking like I have a shrub on top my head and walk out looking like a Human Being with an individual sense of style.

My short, bed head hair and the fact that I've decided to embrace my white/silver color is not the choice most or many would make.  But, it is me.  And, well, for me it works.  As far as I'm concerned, a good stylist is nothing short of a miracle worker.  A visit with Noelle means that at least a few minutes each month, I feel better about mySelf.  A few minutes when I think I can still see that I was pretty.

In my hurry to catch up on the bits of news since my last visit, it barely registered that there was an elderly woman getting her hair washed while Noelle and I chatted.  I smiled at the other people there, but didn't pay close attention, save that it is rare to see an elderly woman at the shop.  I sat in Noelle's chair and my cut commenced.

The older woman was now seated next to me having an ongoing conversation with her daughter with an occasional comment to the stylist.  Daughter said, looking up from her magazine, "Mom, Danielle Steel has a new book out, have you read it?"  Mom replied, "No, I haven't even caught up with the last two she wrote.  Why don't you buy them for me?"

Daughter replies, "Mom, I don't even know the titles of her last two books!"  And then a bit later, "Mom, you should use some product in your hair that will help you keep up with this new do of yours!"

Mom to Daughter, "Okay, (side comment to the stylist, "I assume you sell that stuff here?" Affirmative nod from the stylist,) you buy it from Theresa here and I'll use it."

Noelle and I looked at each other via the mirror and both smiled.  Mom is no slouch!  Not going to use here money on frivolity, but if Daughter with her bright ideas wants to contribute, out standing! Go Mom!

It was a few moments later that we heard the first exclamation that stopped our chat, "Oh Theresa! Look at it!  Oh look!"  Noelle looked over and smiled.  The old girl was smiling really huge looking at herSelf in the mirror.  I said very quietly, "Wow, she really seems to like it!"  and Noelle smiling said, "Yes!  It's so wonderful when that happens."

A little while later the New Old Girl said to her daughter, "Karen!  Just look!  Isn't it wonderful?!  Oh!"  Major affirmation from her daughter, "Yes indeed, Mom, you look beautiful!  Great job, Theresa!"

It occured to me that I was paying witness to one of those rare moments of Beautiful Truth.  The moment when we see the truth of who we are, when we can stand in agreement with ourSelf instead of picking at our faults; or accepting with a sigh the things we so dislike about ourSelf.  The moment when we feel, PRETTY!  A moment when we can actually see what others see!  A moment of positive affirmation.

That  rare sort of feeling is contagious.  Everyone around gets to remember that possibility.  That joy. That beautiful truth.  The moment when we do more than accept our shortcomings or the things about ourSelf that we don't like but have learned to live with.  A moment when we actually see ourSelf in the mirror instead of glancing to make sure we don't have spinach in our teeth and then quickly away because we are disappointed in the reflection.



A divine moment when the authentic beauty that is inside spills out so you can see I AM!

Noelle said, "That right there is why we do this job.  The chance to make every person who sits down feel better.  To feel pretty!  But that doesn't come very often so they're special when they do."  We sat quietly as we realized that the woman was hugging Theresa and even crying.  She repeated, "Oh look at the color!  It's perfect.  Theresa, it's just perfect!  Not bad at all for an 80 year old gal!"  We all totally agreed.

When I got up to leave, I passed her and said, "You really look so pretty.  Can I give you a hug because you made my day!"  She put up her arms and we embraced.  "Thank you," I whispered, "I'm so glad I was here today."

I met up with her daughter paying at the counter.  I said, "I am so happy for her.  And Theresa, how wonderful for you to have this moment.  You gave her the chance to remember that she isbeautiful!" Her daughter, all smiles said, "I know, it's really something isn't it?!"  I nodded.

It certainly is.  A moment of beautiful truth.  We are never too old to be reminded.  Never too young to wonder.

May you find your moment of Beautiful Truth.  Even if it is for the briefest of moments.  May you be reminded how beautiful a creation you truly are.  Because, trust me, we all can see that about you every time we look at you.

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka She Who Went For a Haircut But Got So Much More

Silent Sermon Sunday

This week, may you have the opportunity
to be reminded just how large and grand 

our Earth is,
And do your part to respect and support Her.

Namaste' Till Next Time,

Holly
Photo taken by My Annie's friend, Kari, on their recent trip to the Bahamas to study the coral reefs~

Silent Sermon Sunday

The Creator who breathed life into you,

Did not intend for you to walk through life

With your head and back bowed from worry and care.

Look up!  Look up!  Breathe and drop your head back.

This week, very often, look up!

Namaste' Till Next Time,

Holly  aka She Who Looks Up

This image from the Internet because when I was in Russia in 2000, interior pictures were not allowed of this miracle of the Church of The Spilt Blood which was just newly reopened after 45 years of renovation.  When the Nazis over ran St. Petersburg, they destroyed all the interior mosaic work.  That's not just paint, it's tiny pieces of glass you're seeing.  And with love, and determination, the Russians restored the splendor of the interior to match the amazing building's exterior. 

SIlent Sermon Sunday

A Unexpected Gift from Colette & Toni 

Of all the gifts we gain by our 'spin' through life

Friends are one of the most unique and special.

Be sure to thank one of yours this week.

Namaste' Till Next Time,

Holly aka She Who Is Blest With Friends    

A Small Gift

You have to click on this image to get the full impact of it. When Michael and I were driving around in a neighborhood, we came across this tree in a corner lot. This is a tree that one individual took hours to complete. There were no wires that could be seen. I can't imagine how many thousands of lights this is...or how much patience it took to do this.

And, it was done to bring a smile and an "Ohhh!" of holiday magic to anyone who drives by. Freely given to all.

I do not know the people who did this, just that I'm glad that I happened upon the gift, sitting out in the yard, free for the taking.

Thank you, Sir, for your gift of light. The image that makes this year's holiday for me.

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka She Who Is Amazed

Silent Sermon Sunday

We are grateful for the signs of bounty & friends in our lives.
Thank you, Rebecca, for a wonderful day working together!

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka The Applesauce Maker

Thanks & Blessings

Let's be grateful for those who give us happiness; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls bloom.
~ Marcel Proust

Normally as this is Wednesday, I would be casting my wishes with all of the Wishcasting Wednesday group. But, as this is the day before Thanksgiving, I hope you don't mind if I go a road less traveled. I want to take a minute to wish you a very happy Thanksgiving Day tomorrow, and to tell you how grateful I've been for so many things in this past year of living and blogging.

Mostly, I want to say thank you for being there. For the spirit of generosity you have extended to me. For the surprises and gifts and tokens of affection that have found their way to my front door. Pieces of you that you share now with me. For the moments when your writing has made me think...deeply consider...expand my notions of life and living. For being part of my journey here at Your Mother Knows to being a Real Human Being.

Thanks to those of you who have become friends and loved ones. Thanks for the energy you invest in running your own blog and/or being a visitor regularly to mine. Thanks for sharing your talents with us. Your creative spark. Your Muse's whisperings.

But, mostly and simply...thanks for being You.

Michael and I are off in a short while to go over the river and through the woods to Aunt Kat's home. We'll spend Thanksgiving with her and dine with my brother and family. We'll make time to visit and catch up with dearly loved friends. I'll spend some time with Laura painting a mural on Livy's bedroom wall. I'll take pictures to share with you if it turns out as I hope!

Rory & Fiona go with us because that's what Aunt Kat wants. And, as I have a feeling that I am running out of time with this last of my Aunts & Uncles, well, I want to make certain she has a good Thanksgiving and remembers that she is loved.

We received some outstanding news for which to be genuinely and deeply grateful; Dad Frock went to see the oncologist this week, who strongly believes the cancer is dead and in control. He's released Dad for the time being saying he'll see him in six months to make certain we are headed in the right direction.

And, here's where this comes back once again to all of you, for I am grateful to my core for all the prayers, good wishes, positive energy and feelings you have invested in him because I asked. Because I know the power of the collective move mountains and make love thrive when it seems all is lost. Dearly, I thank you. Michael and the Frocks do as well.

So, whatever you are doing tomorrow in your corner of the world, I hope you'll be able to feel me hugging you and smiling as you share your moments that make a holiday memory. I will be saying thanks and blessings tomorrow as I share my day with those I love.

When I come home, I think it time to share some things about me, my life, and this blog. It's really about wondering what I want to step into next...but we'll save that for another day.

For now, I wish you Bright Blessings for a day of thanks and love. You've certainly made that possible for me. Happy Thanksgiving, my friends and readers!

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka She Who Is Thankful

A Friends Garden

Our house is very deep and the side space between the houses lends itself to being turned into the wonderful French gardening concept of an alley... a long narrow space filled with plants or trees to pull the eye forward. To make the feet desire to move along and visit with the plants.

I decided to develop this space into my Friends Garden. It's the space where all my friends and other gardeners have brought plants from their gardens to share. I love this space. When I look at this plant I think immediately of her. When that one blooms I think of him! It's wonderful. It's also the space where I lovingly transplanted some of the treasures I brought from my beloved gardens at my home in Maryland. Or replicated some of my favorite choices. My neighbors comment on it quite often as being interesting and lovely.

The few warm days of complete sun have pushed my gardens into the next phase of delight. The roses didn't fair well. And, the pansies are all gone. But, the daylilies are in their glory. As I walk around and clap with delight, I share them immediately in my thoughts with friend, Eileen, who was my first neighbor when moving to Greensburg.

Eileen loves daylilies and hosta. She and I spent lots of time walking her gardens and sharing stories and tips as only two gardeners do when they get together. Knowing how sad I was when I left most of my treasures back in Maryland, she was one of my first friends to stop by bringing all sorts of green gifts to share. Hosta and daylilies carefully labeled- all the ones you'll see today. Eileen is a big presence in my Friends Garden.

For the past couple of years, Eileen has decided to try her hand at hybridizing lilies. It's not hard to do, per se, but it takes patience. And a lot of trial and error. This year, after three years of trying, she's beginning to see some of the outcome of her efforts and she's very excited. I can certainly understand and I'm pleased for her.

So, what great gardener would be where they are without their assistants? Fiona sat on alert while I photographed and picked and dead headed. She couldn't find a trophy vole or chipmunk to bring me, so she decided to simply sit and watch. Good girl, Fi...

While my silly boy-dog decided to watch me and look at some of his favorite flowers. He likes to poke at the lavender...I really think he must be sniffing some of the plants as he goes to the same ones regularly. Rory is very interesting. Much more serene and contemplative than his bossy sister.

Here's the first daylily vision that made me say, "Oh!" Of all of the ones that Eileen has given me, this one seems to be the most reluctant, but what a beauty! This is Christmas Eve.

And strolling further... I love the compliment of the dark throat with the quiet exterior on this lily.

This lovely is called, Brocaded Gown, and it may just be the most aptly named lily in my garden. I love the ruffled edge and the puckers. It does look like fabric, and when the light hits it just right, it seems to glow.

If you love the refreshing color of pink, then this is a beauty you want in your garden....

I adore how all the plants and colors seem to play so nicely with each other. Each one its own note in my garden symphony.

This little lovely is actually a spider wart. And, while not a daylily, it is in the lily family. When I saw these tiny gems, well, I had to include them in this show for you today.

And, this last one? I don't have it in my garden yet. Eileen sent a card with this beauty on it; she knows how much I adore all shades of purple. It's one that she's been working on for three years and this year it bloomed. Isn't it gorgeous? I am so happy for her! And, if I am lucky, one day I may have it in the Friends Garden. It's not ready to be shared, yet. So for now, I'll just have to live with this gift...

...yesterday, Eileen called to tell me that she's decided to name this glorious new lily of hers, "Holly," after her gardening buddy. How lucky am I to have made a friend like that? Thank you, Eileen. Really. What an honor!

I hope all of you have moments of recognition and deepening friendships this summer.

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka Eileen's Friend

There's Always Something

I always feel as though I rush the seasons...I'm so impatient. I go out in my sleepy gardens and hope to find things of beauty...but I think I need to be reasonable...it's still so early.

I poke about and sigh...

Because on immediate surveillance, I'm correct...too early...nothing much going on.

But, bending to clear some leaves, I am gifted with this...

A feather from one of the many doves that come to sit on the garden wall and coo their song...

Further along, in a protected corner that has gathered some blowing debris, I find this reminder of last summer...when the beauty of the gardens is so easy to spot...

Flowers from my English lavender...remarkably still purple enough to feel fresh and wonderful. To remind me that soon I will smell my favorite fragrance...I just need to be patient a bit longer.

And, then a treasure where none should be, in the grass near the beds I bend to find this jewel...

I hear the robins scolding close by and I ask, "You left this in the grass, mother bird? Are you sure?" "Just for you," she chirps back, "I'll make plenty more. Happy Spring."

It reminds me that in every situation and in every person, there's always something. Something worth considering. Something worth keeping. Something worth cherishing. Though, I may have to look very close to find it. Or dig deep to uncover it... there's always something.

Namaste' Till Next Time,

Holly

A Master Class In Real

Here at Your Mother Knows, I've made it my challenge and goal to form a clutch of spirits who are curious and intrepid enough to work toward being Real.

And, through my work and this community, I will learn more than I know right now. What follows in this post is a Master Class in being a Real Human Being. I hope it speaks to you as much as it moved me:

Ours is a young neighborhood. A small one by many standards. It's becoming a great neighborhood. Relationships are beginning to cement. Neighbors are becoming friends. It's young enough to still be full of construction trucks and hub-bub. Old enough, now, to have sadness mixed in.

On Wednesday our neighbor, Bob, finally gave up his heroic, honorable battle to live. His best friend and wife of 56 years, Kathy, and her family are doing remarkably well considering how much Bob, or as they call him, 'Poppie', means to them. And, how big a hole Bob's death leaves in their hearts.

Bob & Kathy are members of one of those remarkable tribes. You know what I mean, a family and extended group that really like each other and pretty much get along. There's always family coming and going from a visit, or to help with something, or simply rest for awhile in the embrace of Kathy & Bob. It's a nice thing. Sometimes a thing for the rest of us to wonder about and even envy. So few of us actually have that familial luxury.

What's been sad, is that almost from the moment of moving into our neighborhood, Bob has been in the battle of his life. It started out being something pretty straight-forward, the need for open heart surgery. While that's a pretty big deal, it's becoming blessedly usual and do-able in today's medical world.

However, the infection that he got from his hospital stay is the culprit that began this two and a half year struggle for survival. That infection and the attempts to stop it threw him into kidney failure. That's when the battle became a war. His downward spiral had momentary stops of hope, where we would see stabilization and rejoice. But, a spiral is a spiral after all.

The Master Class today is about the spots of hope. Because that's where the story of Bob actually rests. In those moments, when he was feeling himself...he'd be our good neighbor. Join us at functions; be a vital part of our parties. It was wonderful to see him, 'holding court' with all of us coming and going and sitting with him to share a joke and a chat. It was great to see his BF, Kathy enjoying moments of fun which momentarily erased the lines of concern that were growing. She worked so hard to care for her Fella. We loved having them both with us.

Bob loved hugs. Gave great ones. Had a sweet smile that he shared easily and quickly. Very affable; loved to talk. It was a good thing to sit with him. You felt his joy of life. He was able to infect you with it by being with him. A wonderful man. A wonderful woman. Still able to laugh and laugh often...even though life for both was becoming increasingly hard.

Each time Bob ended back in the hospital, those of us with houses close by would hold our breath. Others in the community always inquired, "How's Bob? Please let him know we're thinking of him." It's the best most of us can do in situations like this.

Yesterday, Michael and I had the sad task of going to the funeral home to say our goodbyes to our good neighbor and lend support to Kathy and her family. Neighbor, Marian, went with us. We expected that there'd be a great many people there. There were, even though the visitation was only minutes old by the time we arrived.

And, pictures...everywhere. Picture boards of Poppie and his beloved Foster clan. Pictures of a life well lived. Pictures of a young bride and groom; of a stiff young Marine in his dress uniform; countless pictures of Bob holding a baby bundle. Pictures of the most mundane things, but when viewed from that many angles, truly amazing.

We didn't stay long. We gave Kathy our open promise that we're just a few houses away and ready to help should she need us. We hugged. She moved on to the many, many others waiting to offer their faint hope of comfort. I say, faint, because really, what does one say or do? None of us can really comprehend how she must be hurting. Imagine being happily married for 56 years and wondering what life will be like going forward. The answer is, you can't really. So, you show up. You offer the support of your presence. That's all you can do.

On our way out, Michael signed the guest book. I picked up the memorial card. Sometimes I do, often I don't. But I was compelled because of a note that hung over them which read, "We hope you'll take one of these cards as it contains one of Bob's favorite quotes." When Michael and I read it in the car, it moved us to tears. So, I share it with you:

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, and confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow." - Melodie Beattie

And, on the other side of this inspirational card-

Dear Friend:
Thank you for inviting me into your life. It was fun, and my gratitude fits into Melodie Beattie's words.

I think mot of us strive for perfection but never attain it due to our human frailties. We can and must find a comfort zone within our own bodies to enjoy the peace that can be ours. I must tell you that, perhaps, peace and joy can be found by sharing your gratitude with all you encounter.

You enriched my life. Always dare to be yourself. Be grateful. Invite strangers into your life. Build happy memories with others. Laugh and share the joy that we knew together.

Thanks for the memories!
Poppie

What a wondrously glorious Human Being. Imagine loving life so very much that in your leaving, you continue to express how wonderful it all is. Even your death. Even your end... Being grateful for it ALL. Wanting to help those of us who remain as you go. Taking the time to express your gratitude for all that we've meant, no matter how small or large the encounter. Thank us?

No sir, thank You! It's been an honor and privilege to know you. And, my quest to be a Real Human Being has been furthered by the grace and gift of your example. Thank you Bob Poppie Foster.

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka Your Neighbor & Student

Blog Treasures

photo by: My Dear Friend, Eileen

Oh! The wind this morning is a-blowin'! The rain is coming down sideways. I think I just saw a house with a girl wearing red shoes to die for and her dog fly by...maybe it was only a trash can...I'll check on that in a minute...

My three day garden fest with my back gardens is momentarily halted by Mother Nature who, in her infinite wisdom, has decided to lend her hand by watering everything that Michael and I planted. Blessings on you, Mother!

While I was outside wrestling leaves and other winter detritus out of the gardens...feeling like a member of a Special Ops unit liberating plants from weeds and crud, inside here in my growing blogging community, some wonderful things were blooming! And, while yes, they are about me, that's not what makes them so wonderful...what makes them so are the individuals who included me.

First were photo gifts from Eileen who runs a sweet blog about her new grandson, Simon Says. Her blog is short, sweet snippets about the wonders of being a first time Grammy aka MiMi and what that change means to her and those she loves. It'll be a good chronicle for her little guy when he's old enough to wonder about life before he could remember.

Eileen lives in Maryland and has supported me in my on-going struggle to manage my homesickness. Spring there is about three weeks ahead of us here, so she sends me pictures to remind me of the wonderful springs in The Land of Pleasant Living. She also knows that I adore purple...so she sends me purple fixes when she finds them. Hence my very first gift on today's entry.

Next gem is courtesy of Samantha, way across the pond in England. The keeper of the Goddess flame over at, the everyday witch who absolutely surprised me. Imagine going for a visit at someone's blog only to find you're being talked about and given an honor! Wow.

I'm further honored by what she had to say: "...there is only one person who I could choose to pass this award onto this week, and that is Holly. She is the type of Goddess I adore most: a proponent of the tough-love, tell-it-to-me-straight kinda wisdom, and her heart is most definitely golden. She is not afraid to tackle the thornier subjects in life, and I would pick her for my team in any fight (wars of words only, please). Holly, thanks for listening this week, and for teaching us all a bit more about it."

And, here it is...I will proudly display it, not because it is an award, but because of the reasons she wished to bestow it. Thank you, Sam, for expressing that I am all of that for you. And, I will always be listening to the things you share with me!

And now let's travel to India to meet a new acquaintance of mine, Sema, who is a textile designer and artist. Her blog, AffirmArt is full of colorful mandalas. I adore mandalas...they are complex and colorful and deeply meaningful. Her's are fresh and lovely.

A comment she left on my listening pieces read, "I was inspired by your post on listening to create this week's affirmart card. Thank you." Over I go for a visit with Sema to find this beautiful creation:

Isn't it cool?! She made that; I told you she was good! How many talented people are in this world! And, sometimes it's absolutely overwhelming when you start clicking from site to site and each time you find more people who are doing such wonderful things on their blogs.

To all of you who share your bounty and beauty, thanks is a small word to give in return. But, it's all that I have. Here at Your Mother Knows, I have only my words to share with you, although thanks to Beth, I am going to be more brave and post pictures that I take from time to time.

I think I will end now, sit with my cup of coffee and look at all these beautiful treasures that came my way this weekend. What a wonderful way to start a new week. Blessings on all of you for creating and giving so freely.

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka The Listener

For My Eyes, Thank You

Tiny brown birds stand out sharply against the white on the deck rails. Not even Halloween and there's snow here along the Chestnut Ridges of Western PA. Those big fat lazy flakes that mesmerize as you watch them fall. Slowly drifting, swaying side to side. The birds are busy hitting the bird feeder attempting to keep their bodies warm. Some sit fluffed up looking twice their size, heads tucked tightly to their chests. The scarlet leaves still on our tree blaze against the white.

In a couple of hours, this vision will be gone as the temps warm. For the moment, the first snow is another opportunity to say, "Thank you, Spirit, for my eyes!" Another experience to be grateful for being a Human Being so I can take in this sort of sensory input.

As the snow visits and re-visits over the winter, clogging traffic and making life temporarily more complicated, I know it will be harder to remember this tranquility and beauty. I'd better file it away under, 'Peaceful Moments' and try to recall it when I'm frustrated by the weather...sick of the constant assault of winter that will seem endless at times.

But, for this second, while I sit here and listen to the rush of the heat coming through the vents, and smell my cup of coffee... While I watch out the window at the early snow, I will be grateful for being alive and aware and acknowledge it. I'll hope you can find a moment like this in your day, too.

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly