Thursday, July 29, 2010

Happily Ever After....Hmm, I Wonder....

Let's do a happy dance. I find I am reading again! I'm able to once again sit and read for long stretches at a time. It's been awhile since I was able to do this. Sad to say. I was just not able to sit and concentrate that long on things.

I'm not sure what the change is...but I'm just glad that I can again. Maybe it's the's so easy to sit and just read on the lighted page. I can lay in bed at night and not bother Michael's rest with a nightlight glowing over a book while I wrestle. Or, it could be that I've finally given myself a break.

I decided that I can't always read a texty sort of know, one that has to do with philosophy or Reiki, or anything that requires attention and pondering. Sometimes you just have to let it be for nothing more than, "I just want to read to escape!"

I want to read a beachy know, one that you don't care if it gets all smudged with sunblock, or the binding gets cracked because of the sand that's caught in it. Or one that you leave behind because it's all swollen and wrinkled from the damp, rich, glorious beach air. I want to read a book like that.

So, I found one. It's not important which one it is, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was rather predictable in lots of ways but I will admit that the author was able to throw a few curve balls in there to make me stop and admire, "Oh, that was very clever; I didn't see that one coming at all!"

That's what got me thinking...maybe it's just me, but I suspect you can do the same thing. I'm pretty good at seeing ahead in a book. I can generally sense how a plot is going to go...meaning, I'm generally not really surprised by much unless the author is really good at telling a tale with unsuspected twists.

And, because I'm good at seeing where "this is going," it occurs to me that we can all pretty much tell by how a writer tells their tale if they're leading us toward a happy ending. Can't you sense the writer's intention once you're involved in the plot? Don't you know when the writer wants the characters to have a good outcome?

Oh sure, there will be drama, and the moments when you groan, "Oh no!" Especially when you want the happy ending because you like the characters. You begin rooting for them and staying hopeful for them to get that good ending.

So, that got me to thinking...if we are the authors of our own life stories...if we truly do craft our existence once step at a time, one choice at a time...

...if what we want is the, "She/He lived happily ever after," then we have to stop worrying if it's out there because it definitely is there....even when in the moment, in the chapter, it seems that the path to it is temporarily disrupted.

Happily ever after is there but you just have to get through the next couple of chapters and see how it all turns out. The good ending is not an 'if'; it's a 'how' and 'when'. You want a happy ending? Write it into your story.

I know I am the author of my story. Even though lots of times it's easier to think I'm just a cosmic puppet with no say in the play. I know that's not true. I am the writer of my autobiography. The director of my play.

Can't you just tell by reading my writing that I want the happy ending? Sure you can. So, if you can sense that I want that, you have to know as the writer I'm going to lead myself to it. To that last final few words....when it all comes together...and you get a bit misty eyed because you really liked those characters and you're happy that your faith in the good endings has been renewed.

Yeah...I like happy endings and I like a story with twists and turns and ups and downs and moments of, "You've got to be kidding!'

So, I'm going to stop wondering if the happy ending is there. I now know without question that the Divine Author's intention for me is the "And she lived happily ever after." I can just feel it in the way the Author has lead the plot so far.

Yep, the unexpected twists are still out there. But, without having to fret about the end; with the happy ending now secured in my mind...I'm sure I'll be reacting to those twists in an entirely different manner. I'll be able to deal with them in completely new ways.

Oh, I just love it when a story comes together!

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka She Who Is Reading Once Again

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Silent Sermon Sunday

No act is too small; no life is too little. All of them, all of us, are part of something so much bigger and glorious than we can imagine.
Love your life.

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Image courtesy of The Internet

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Silent Sermon Sunday

"As often as you can, take a trip out to the fields to pray...All the grasses will join you. They will enter your prayers and give you strength to sing praises to God."

~ Rebbe Nachman of Breslov

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka She Who Hopes To Pray Well

Monday, July 12, 2010

Champagne, Anyone?

I was born in 1955. Today, I turned 55. So, for me this is a champagne birthday of sorts. I suppose my true champagne birthday would have been the year I turned 12, but I didn't know about those things, so I'm going with this one being the one. Double nickles. did I get to be 55? One decade at a time, one year at a time, one day at a time, one step at a time, one breath at a thought at a time. And, here I am.

Unfortunately, Michael had to leave today for another road trip. It's what I need to get used to now that he took this new job. I hate the leaving part, but I'm all right in a few hours. I don't mind being on my own. It's good for me. And, we do so love seeing each other again after time away. But, still, it is my birthday...

Knowing he'd have to jet off on my special day, he took me out for a great meal over the weekend. I mean, a meal that I won't forget anytime soon. It was that good!

And, also he felt that 55 was deserving of a memorable gift so he bought me, are you ready? One of these!

I am so digging this iPad! Love it. I wanted an e-reader but this is so much more and it's a great deal of fun. And very generous of My Lion. I love it; thank you so much!!

I find that this year seems an important mile stone for me. Maybe it's the roundness of the number. Whatever, I decided that it's a good year to do something differently than I've done in the past. So here goes:

They tell you that you're never supposed to say your wish out loud because it won't come true. But, I'm starting to think that you have to name to claim it...own it to have it. So, I'm going to list my wishes right out loud. After all, it is my birthday and a girl should do what she wants on her birthday.

So, very carefully crafted, in no particular order, here are my birthday wishes for my year ahead-

I wish: That we sell our house soon for what we need out of it in order to start our lives again in our new location.

I wish: That we find the perfect home for us close to friends and family back east and that our move goes smoothly.

I wish: That all this happens in time for the fall and holiday season.

I wish: That I find a job where I can add value and feel like it's unbelievably lucky of me to have found such a great job with an outstanding organization working with really wonderful people.

I wish: That I continue to work toward my goal of being healthier and thinner...with more energy and pep.

I wish: That I have many happy years with My Lion and that we laugh, love, and grow more deeply in love with each other. That I never take for granted that he is my best friend and makes me so very happy.

I wish: For happy times and more of them with my friends who mean so much to me and my family who I couldn't do without. Times with Livy and watching her grow and discover. Yeah, I want so much more of that.

I wish: For Fiona and Rory to have many healthy and happy years with me. I adore those two dogs.

I wish: For the courage to continue to grow and learn. To discover more about myself and realize that no matter how many years I may live, there will always be more to me than meets the eye.

I wish: For the strength and courage to manage any challenges, hardships, sadness that may come with grace and dignity.

I wish: To remember that I create my reality one thought, one breath, one wish at a time and proceed accordingly. And, always always remember how much I am truly loved.

So Holly, many happy and healthy returns of your special day. And, may the year ahead show you that if you can wish it, for certain you can have it. After all, it is your champagne birthday.

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka The Birthday Girl

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Silent Sermon Sunday

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Image taken by me in San Antonio, TX

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

"The Heart of The Matter"

I was driving along today and Spirit sent me a message through the radio. It happens. I just knew that when I got home, I had to post this because someone out there, really, really needs it.

Someone who is suffering, grieving, not able to see through the hurt and sad they feel right now. So, I dedicate this to you.

The Heart of The Matter
by: Don Henley

I got the call today, I didn't wanna hear
But I knew that it would come
An old true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone
She said you found someone
And I thought of all the bad luck,
And the struggles we went through
And how I lost me and you lost you
What are these voices outside love's open door
Make us throw off our contentment
And beg for something more?

I'm learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

These times are so uncertain
There's a yearning undefined
...People filled with rage
We all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age
The trust and self-assurance that can lead to happiness
They're the very things we kill, I guess
Pride and competition cannot fill these empty arms
And the work I put between us,
Doesn't keep me warm

I'm learning to live without you now
But I miss you, Baby
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I figured out, I have to learn again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But everything changes
And my friends seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

There are people in your life who've come and gone
They let you down and hurt your pride
Better put it all behind you; life goes on
You keep carrin' that anger, it'll eat you inside

I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
Because the flesh will get weak
And the ashes will scatter
So I'm thinkin' about forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore.

I know you can't feel this right now, but I promise you that the way through hurt and pain is gained through forgiveness. For them for hurting you; for you who allowed yourself to be hurt. Forgiveness will set you free. I promise.

And, now let's hear these words from the guy who was inspired to sing them:

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka She Who Promises From Experience

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Remembering The Truth of Things

Michael and I are headed east until next week. It's an unexpected trip as one of the men he used to work with died very suddenly the other day. He was 43 years old. Sad. Very.

This morning, this was my daily meditation, and at first I didn't think it was even appropriate, but with further consideration, I know that it is so I'm sharing it with you, too:

In case you didn't know, you couldn't tell, or you haven't heard, if you're reading this right now on a computer, Holly, you're rich. If you have somewhere to go today, you're connected. And if there is anyone, anywhere, who for any reason knows where you are in this moment, you are loved.Yes, it's more than correct...because of the computer, because of the need for me to go and pay my respects to another. Most particularly because I make that sad journey with the love of my life. We share it together. And, I know that so many know where I am, even in those moments when I don't have a clue where my head is! So I am loved.

And, while I am back east, I am starting the first phase of a pretty marvelous consulting project that I landed recently. So yeah...

I do have a great deal to make me smile and remember the truth of things.

I'll see you when I get home! Love your life while I'm gone and tell me all about it when I get back to you soon.

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka She Who Is Blessed
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