Let It Get Cold

When I was teaching Public Relations Writing at Towson Univesity, I told my students to let their writing sit for at least 24 hours before editing. Our brains cannot simultaneously create and correct. So, time is needed for our brains to actually 'see' what's on the page and then the necessary edits and corrections are so much easier to spot. Why? Because the brain resets and sees it as it is, not the way you thought you wrote it. I call this: Allowing Your Writing To Get Cold.

Lately, I've been reading a lot of comments on social media platforms and articles about behaviors in the cyber connection world in which we now live.  And, one of the common threads seems to be the lack of civility and bad behavior we witness or receive.

The real conundrum is the total lack of common sense exhibited by people who simply broadcast everything they do.  Every thought they have.  Every sarcastic or cutting remark goes up for ingestion by the rest of the world.  It's so terribly wrong on so many levels. The absolute lack of understanding that a civilized person does not put their personal stuff out on the sidewalk so people can pick through it, is alarming.

As of the recent election, the amount of stories about bad, horrible behavior and treatment of others on social media has really up-ticked.  While most of us simply thought it would die down post election, which is true to a point, it seems that many people have turned into...

...Internet Trolls.

The Urban dictionary defines a Troll as: “Being a prick on the internet because you can. Typically unleashing one or more cynical or sarcastic remarks on an innocent by-stander, because it's the internet and, hey, you can.”

You might wonder why the name, Troll, which I find pretty accurate and funny.  If you think about the trolls that we all heard about in fairy tales, they seem to live in dark and unsavory places.  They lay in wait under bridges for unsuspecting travelers. Trolls just love frightening before they snatch you up and eat you alive.

If you've ever experienced troll behavior on your social media pages, you know it immediately even if you didn't know what it's called.  You can't help but pull back thinking, "What the hell?  Where did that come from and why did she/he even write that?!?!?!"

The cautionary tale for all of us is: BEWARE!  High stress situations can bring out the hidden troll in all of us.  It's especially upsetting when you are on the receiving end of troll-like behavior from someone you thought was a 'friend' on social media.  You wonder, "What the hell did I write that would cause him/her to be so crappy?"  And, the answer is generally because...

...Social Media has an immediacy that strips away good judgement and polite behavior, especially during emotionally charged times or topics. And, because you're not in the same space with an actual Human Being, looking them in the eyes as it were, we lose our normal filters.  If you had to look at the person with whom you are talking so shitty, well, you probably would hold back.

We are in the brave new world together.  And it's only going to get faster and worse before, or if, it can get better.  As technology shifts, as the world goes faster in a breathless pace of thought to  broadcasting, we must begin learning new ways of being. We must possess new ways of interacting-- new sets of manners and polite behavior.

Because if we don't, all of us will become infected.  All of us will become more Troll than Human Being.

I don't have the answers to what it's going to take to stem the epidemic, but I can start with this one from my teaching days:

When it comes to any topic on social media, especially those that are contentious or highly charged emotionally, before you hit SEND, let your writing get cold.  It's the knee jerk reaction to things that is getting us into Troll territory.  It's not allowing our polite filter to command our response.

When we're speaking and, in a moment of poor judgement, say something that turns out pretty horrible or passive-aggressive, with enough time, the impact will lessen.  Thankfully, we have short memories on so many levels.  But, if you write that same horrible thought, IT LASTS FOREVER! Unless it's deleted, it will be read over and over.

The best I can suggest at this point is, after you let it get cold...even for five minutes and think about how it might sound, you can stop yourself from turning into a troll.

The ultimate test is to ask yourself, "Is it really contributing anything to say it that way? Does it add value or simply cause further strife?"  If the answer to either of those questions is NO, and you would never want someone to comment that way to you, hit DELETE and be a better person for your commitment to be kind instead of an ass-hat Internet Troll.

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka She Who Never Wants To Be A Troll

Talking To Be Heard

Just because you've decided that now is the best time to talk, doesn't mean that now is the best time for the other to listen.

If you really want to be heard, you need to fight the impulse to spew and pick your moment carefully. 

That is, if your goal is to be heard.  Otherwise, if you just want to give into your every impulse, say what you want to say regardless of whether it has any meaning to another, well go ahead and let fly.

You might think you feel better because you got that off your chest but, don't be angry if you don't get anything meaningful back.  And, please, don't whine, "No one ever listens to me!"

Running off at the mouth is not the same as communicating.  And, timing is everything.

'Nuff said.


Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka She Who Always Wishes To Communicate

Just One of Those Faces

I'm standing in a department store browsing. A woman asks me, "Do you know if they have this attachment for a Kitchen-Aide mixer?" As it happens, I don't but I do know where they have the stand mixers so I tell her that much and suggest she ask the clerk who I just saw in that area. She moves on. I continue browsing. Not for the first time has this happened to me. Actually, it happens quite often. I can be standing outside waiting and someone will ask me for directions. I used to get asked for the time quite a bit. Now we don't ever need to ask the time what with all the gadgets we have on our person that wink the time at us.

I used to wonder what it is about me that make people ask me these things. Now, after all these years, I've just come to accept, I must have one of those faces. But what is the quality that I give off that makes people think that out of all the people that surround them, I am the one they will ask?

I once had my astrology chart read. The woman who did this has a great reputation of being able to provide insight and accuracy about things of this nature. It was very interesting. One of the things she said was, "People think you are an expert. When you tell them something, they believe you. I'm not certain what this quality is, I just know that it's very much a part of who you are and how you are perceived."

I thought, "Wow...maybe that's why so many people ask me things!" And then the next thought was, "I need to be very aware of this and I best not take it lightly." From that day on, I've always tried to be aware of the power that words have and my ability to speak them. If people are going to believe me, I need to behave in a very credible way. It's a lot of responsibility.

I take it very seriously. If you ask me a question, I will do everything I can to give you a solid answer...even if I don't know you and you want to know about stand mixers.

At the same time I wonder about, why me? I also wonder about people who seem to be able to avoid all sort of Human contact. You know the ones I mean...the ones who can almost clear a path in front of them and see people move out of their way. The one who makes you feel like, "If this were the last person on earth, I still wouldn't ask them for directions!"

Do they do this on purpose? Do they give off some vibe that makes us avoid them? Do they practice this art, or are they caught in a bubble of silence that is years in the making? Did they start it? Or is it that others have isolated them for so long, that they now wear it like a steel armor?

When I am out and about, I talk with everyone. I don't have to know you. I will say, "hello," or make a passing comment. For me, a stranger is simply a friend whom I have not yet made. Often, people seem startled at first, but most will respond. When you smile at them, even with a slight hesitancy, the smile is returned.

Even if I don't smile, I try to make certain through eye contact that I saw them...truly saw them. And for just a second, the fact that they were in the same space and time with me, registered. They mattered.

And maybe that's why I have just one of those faces. One that seems safe; open; available. So that anyone who needs a momentary respite from the closed spaces we all occupy, can do so with a sense of safety.

But, truly, I don't know what it is about me. I just have a face that says, "It's all right, you can ask me." After all this time I've come to think of it as a gift.

Do you speak with strangers when you're out in the world? I do, and that has made the world seem a whole lot less strange.

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka She Who Will Answer You

When Does Learning Turn To Failure?

You have a choice. You can either view the really horrible, difficult situations in your life as a massive opportunity to learn more than you know now and develop a humble gratitude for the lessons...

...or you can see them as another example of how the Universe uses you as a toilet taking yet another massive dump on you.

You ask if you are a loser and failure because of the situation you now find yourself. Yes, it's true you designed it. Made the choices. Insisted on having your own way. Ignored the best wisdom of those around you. Were absolutely stubborn. Does that make you a loser and a failure?

No. That makes you human.

What will make you a failure is if, now that you know that your choices are incredibly wrong, you stay with them because you're afraid of what others might think, might say.

You become a loser if you think that staying seems better than moving on into the unknown. If you continue because undoing it seems too complicated. Yes, it's very frightening...but staying in a spirit killing situation is even more frightening.

You'll be a loser if you're more concerned about what others might think or say than you're concerned about what your spirit is urgently whispering now.

You're a failure if you don't feel all you need to feel about the current situation and walk forward into your life with the firm commitment that you will learn all you need to learn and add it to your experiences toward becoming a Real Human Being.

The situation? Yes, you designed it and realize, now, it was not good design. You realize that you've designed misery. But, you've only designed failure if you insist on having your way instead of doing the right thing.

You are not a failure by design; you become a failure by choice.

Which choice will you make?

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka She Who Has Been There

Silent Sermon Sunday

Infinite possibility resides in the spaces between the words.
Spend more time in the spaces.
Notice how your world changes.

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly

Happily Ever After....Hmm, I Wonder....

Let's do a happy dance. I find I am reading again! I'm able to once again sit and read for long stretches at a time. It's been awhile since I was able to do this. Sad to say. I was just not able to sit and concentrate that long on things.

I'm not sure what the change is...but I'm just glad that I can again. Maybe it's the iPad...it's so easy to sit and just read on the lighted page. I can lay in bed at night and not bother Michael's rest with a nightlight glowing over a book while I wrestle. Or, it could be that I've finally given myself a break.

I decided that I can't always read a texty sort of book...you know, one that has to do with philosophy or Reiki, or anything that requires attention and pondering. Sometimes you just have to let it be for nothing more than, "I just want to read to escape!"

I want to read a beachy book....you know, one that you don't care if it gets all smudged with sunblock, or the binding gets cracked because of the sand that's caught in it. Or one that you leave behind because it's all swollen and wrinkled from the damp, rich, glorious beach air. I want to read a book like that.

So, I found one. It's not important which one it is, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was rather predictable in lots of ways but I will admit that the author was able to throw a few curve balls in there to make me stop and admire, "Oh, that was very clever; I didn't see that one coming at all!"

That's what got me thinking...maybe it's just me, but I suspect you can do the same thing. I'm pretty good at seeing ahead in a book. I can generally sense how a plot is going to go...meaning, I'm generally not really surprised by much unless the author is really good at telling a tale with unsuspected twists.

And, because I'm good at seeing where "this is going," it occurs to me that we can all pretty much tell by how a writer tells their tale if they're leading us toward a happy ending. Can't you sense the writer's intention once you're involved in the plot? Don't you know when the writer wants the characters to have a good outcome?

Oh sure, there will be drama, and the moments when you groan, "Oh no!" Especially when you want the happy ending because you like the characters. You begin rooting for them and staying hopeful for them to get that good ending.

So, that got me to thinking...if we are the authors of our own life stories...if we truly do craft our existence once step at a time, one choice at a time...

...if what we want is the, "She/He lived happily ever after," then we have to stop worrying if it's out there because it definitely is there....even when in the moment, in the chapter, it seems that the path to it is temporarily disrupted.

Happily ever after is there but you just have to get through the next couple of chapters and see how it all turns out. The good ending is not an 'if'; it's a 'how' and 'when'. You want a happy ending? Write it into your story.

I know I am the author of my story. Even though lots of times it's easier to think I'm just a cosmic puppet with no say in the play. I know that's not true. I am the writer of my autobiography. The director of my play.

Can't you just tell by reading my writing that I want the happy ending? Sure you can. So, if you can sense that I want that, you have to know as the writer I'm going to lead myself to it. To that last final few words....when it all comes together...and you get a bit misty eyed because you really liked those characters and you're happy that your faith in the good endings has been renewed.

Yeah...I like happy endings and I like a story with twists and turns and ups and downs and moments of, "You've got to be kidding!'

So, I'm going to stop wondering if the happy ending is there. I now know without question that the Divine Author's intention for me is the "And she lived happily ever after." I can just feel it in the way the Author has lead the plot so far.

Yep, the unexpected twists are still out there. But, without having to fret about the end; with the happy ending now secured in my mind...I'm sure I'll be reacting to those twists in an entirely different manner. I'll be able to deal with them in completely new ways.

Oh, I just love it when a story comes together!


Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka She Who Is Reading Once Again

I'm Over Here!

Every now and again, I am asked to do something that absolutely tickles me. Today is one of those times. Toni Brown, creator of Who Said Mermaids Can't Tango asked if I would be her guest artist one day to discuss how I go about writing.

Today is that day! So please go find me there. Say hello to Toni and poke around on her blog. She's doing some very interesting work along the lines of learning how to write, create effective mixed media, and other topics of interest to artists and wordsmiths!

Thanks for thinking so highly of my work, my Dear Fufu! Oh, but I still wish I had your eye!!

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka She Who Writes
Image "The Beckoning" by Miyagu

Confession Tis Good For The Soul

I come from an age when good Catholic kids were expected to show up at their parish church every Saturday to make their confession. It was more or less required. You may not go every week, but it was almost mandatory that you go once a month.

So, Dad made sure I met the requirement. Even though he was a little less stringent with me in terms of weekly confession, I absolutely had to go to church every Sunday unless I was dead, or half dead. He also made sure I went once a month to Confession. He'd predictably say, "Better pack a lunch; you'll be in there awhile." Very funny, Daddy...

In retrospect, I have always found the notion of the Confessional with children as counter-intuitive. I mean, what does a child really have in the way of sin? I often found myself actually committing a sin while in the confessional, telling a lie, fabricating some small transgression, in order to make the session in the dark, incensed cloaked box with my favorite priest worth his time. Crazy. To that end, I've stolen thousands of phantom apples in my life, even though I'm not that fond of them. And, even though I've never stolen an apple or anything in my life.

No, check that; I just told you a lie. I stole fake fingernails from Woolworth's. Don't ask me why. I was so guilty and felt so bad about it, I tossed them in the trash bin on the street when I got out the door. So, maybe the whole Confessional thing works to develop a conscience more than do much good in terms of the actual visit.

"Bless me Father for I have sinned. It's been a week/month since my last confession. I talked back to my father one time. I got mad at Nanny, The World's Meanest Woman (who could make a saint mad, but I digress,) five times. I stole an apple. I said a swear word. I took the Lord's name in vain, and Nanny washed out my mouth with soap so I don't know if it's still a sin...." and that was pretty much the extent of the week.

I still know the benefit of confession, or as it is called now, The Act of Reconciliation. It is good for the soul because it liberates you and sets you free. It's like a deep cleansing breath. So it's time for me to make a confession to you all. And, reconcile with myself. May as well start the New Year off in a good direction.

For some time now, you've noticed I haven't been posting much. Awhile back I made some cryptic comments about my thoughts about the direction of this blog and such. Then I remained silent. Why? I'm not really, truly, absolutely sure. Except that I've reached a cross roads of sorts.

"Bless me Father Blog, for I have sinned. It's been a long time since my last post. I've been less than forth-right in my sharing of thoughts. I've been evasive and uninspired."

Here's the thing: I don't know what to do with this thing I've created, or where to go, or how to manage it any more. In a nutshell, it's become a lot of mental work. And, most days, I don't have the energy to gather my thoughts that swirl around like dry leaves in a wind storm. Not only that, but honest to gawd, I just don't have a fascinating thought to share every day! No one is inspired every day.

But, the real reason I've been so dodgy lately is that I cannot give less than my best. And, what I wasn't prepared for is, not how much time it takes to make a post, since I'm gifted with writing and that comes very quickly when I decide to post. No, my problem is you; it's really your fault.

It's really a problem about giving all of you less than 100 per cent. I've become so close with many of you and your work. But it takes HOURS a day to read your postings. I don't have hours. Just don't. So I feel guilty. Who knew there could be so many fascinating blogs out there? I feel like a person who has 20 magazines coming in a month. I want them, but I don't have time to read them all! And they pile up taunting me and my inability to keep up.

What I didn't know about blogging is how it's very much like a high school clique. And, you have to work very hard to maintain your status; keep your readership numbers up, if you want to be seen as successful. I thought it would be a case of, "I'll write well, and of things that are interesting, and the comments will start and the readers will come."

Uumm, not really. In order to have followers, you have to cultivate them, and the only way to do that is by following their blogs, too. And commenting. Sharing. Letting them know what you think about what they had to say.

My problem? I can't phone it in. Just can't. I won't disrespect your energy and effort like that. So I can't just speed read through your post and leave some less than full comment just so you'll come and visit with me. In my humble opinion, that's what a lot of blog writers do. You can tell by the depth of the comment. However, I refuse to to that.

Also, I've lost some of my original blog friends who have packed it up and said, "adieu" to the whole thing. When you read why, it's basically because they realize they've allowed their real life to go on hold while they sit at the computer for hours making the rounds. I admire them for deciding that life is more interesting than blogging. But, I'm jealous of them too. Because I've not had the courage to let it go. I just want to let go of the hours of obligation to make the rounds.

I miss my friends who I first made who have gone on to other things. Kavindra, Mel, Tessa and Toni. Some of them are beginning to write again, so that's a good thing as I'm thrilled they're back, but it adds to the stress because now the blog reading list has gotten longer!! What's a girl to do?! I'm rambling because my thoughts just don't seem to want to cooperate on this topic.

I've decided: I will not post every day. And, on the days when I don't post, I will be reading the blogs that I find fascinating. I will continue to give myself the liberty of not commenting every time I stop by. However, you can bet I will comment when I have something to tell you about what you shared.

I promise you, I will not be speed reading through your post. I will not leave a comment just so you feel obligated to come to read my stuff. Come visit with me when you really want to, not because you're being polite about this whole thing. I'm going to give you the gift of some time, at least when it comes to Your Mother Knows.

I am not staying on the blog merry go round; I'm getting off.

I'm certain my decision will impact my numbers. I'm certain that many of the followers have decreased because I'm not playing the game anymore. But, the way I see it is...I really only want people who find my work, authentic, worthy, and interesting in its own right, not because I'm part of a fraternity.

I want my readers to get something worth their time. I want this to be worth my time and not feel like a thousand pound gorilla. I want to keep writing a blog that makes those readers say to those they care about, "Hey, you need to go read Your Mother Knows, because she's a good writer," and that's getting me back to my original intention.

And, having said all this out loud, I'm feeling much less conflicted about the whole blogging situation. I'm Human enough to worry that my confession here will make my followers dwindle to nothing. But, that will be as it will.

Meantime, I start the new year getting back to the original intention of blogging. For me, by me, with truth and a journey toward better understanding of the world around me. Oh, and one more thing; sorry I had to go back to word verification. I have been spammed by Butt Munches who insist on telling me how to get a bigger penis. Yeah, I'm very happy about that.

Father Blog says, "Your sins have been forgiven; go forth and write in the truth; sin no more."

Amen. I have to go do my penance now. Talk with you again soon!

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka The Truth Teller

Five Little Words & Me

Oh, that Joanna Jenkins! She's always getting me into some mischief or trouble. As a fellow word-smith, she and I have discovered the fun of spurring each other on and I have to say, I love it. So thanks girl for sending me five words that I'm to use to weave as part of the telling of myself to you.

As part of this exercise, I'm to offer to send five words to five readers who might like to play along. So, if you want me to do that, just let me know. And, now to the words:

Gracious: As in "Gracious, me!" which I actually say quite a bit when I'm surprised or don't know quite what to say. I suppose it's as close to the Southern, "Well, bless your heart!" Which can be used when you're being sincere or you're being snotty. I love things that work like that.

Okay, Gracious...when I think of the word, three women come to mind immediately. My friend Jackie Cavanaugh; my sister-in-law Linda; and my friend Eileen Mross. I'm lucky to have met lots of gracious women and men. But, the word reflects how I see these women most particularly.

I attempt to be gracious. Admittedly, I'm often more like a bull in a china shop, but I'm working continually on the gracious part.

Fascinate: I try to do that with every story I tell, everything I write. I try to look at the world that way...as the most fascinating thing ever. I definitely look at people that way. I still maintain that there's not a spirit among us who doesn't have a story that would fascinate any of us. However, most of them, unfortunately, are not asked to tell their story. Want to be fascinated? Go ask someone to tell you a story from their life.

Husband: Why do we have so many sit-coms and commercials that bash husbands and make them look stupid and trivial? Why is that humorous? Don't answer; it's another, "Why is the sky blue," question. Open-ended with no good answer.

I often wonder why so many women marry a man and begin working immediately to turn him into a science project. If you need a hobby, get one; don't marry one! But, if you really feel that disdain for your spouse, it says way more about you and your poor choices than it ever could about the science proj, er, husband!

I have had two excellent husbands. Both have brought a depth and richness to my life that I would not have had otherwise. To both of them I am grateful. I think most of us have the husband we grow up with and then the husband we grow old with...a very rare few of us have one mate who fills both roles.

To my Beloved Michael, my husband- I love you and you've given me the life I dreamed. To my former husband, Doog, you are loved for all you brought to my life and our continued friendship.

Inspiration: This is a word we over use and never really consider its true meaning, so I'm going to give you the definition here: A divine influence or action on a person believed to qualify him to receive and communicate sacred revelation. Or: The act of drawing in...to breathe in.

We all must have a situation or an individual who truly does this for us. Each of us needs to find that spark of divine awareness. For me, it was my father, Jimmy.

And, on many levels and many occasions, it's all of you that I've encountered in the blogging community. Go breathe in something or someone who amazes you; try to get a deep breath of it every day!

Perhaps all of us would be agents of inspiration if we remembered that we are the face, voice, hands, and touch of Spirit to any situation, creature, and each person we encounter. Yeah...that would be a really good thing to remember and react accordingly. What do you draw into your life, your world, you awareness? How are you inspired? Do you act to inspire others?

Confidence: I wish I had more of it. What things could I accomplish if I had a deeper well of this virtue? Would I talk myself out of less? Would I try a bit harder and work a bit longer at getting what I know should be mine?

Would I hold my head higher? Be kinder to myself and my short comings? More at ease in my own skin?

Certainly.

As I've grown older, I've learned that often confidence see-saws with caring...but not in the way you might think. I think your confidence goes up when how much you care what others think of you goes down. Coupled with how much you begin caring more about what you think of yourself.

So, I'm going to continue working on that balancing act. Care to join me on the Teeter Tooter?

Those are my five and of them I think, inspiration is my favorite word. What say you?

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka She Who Adores Words

What Other People Say

"Certainly she feels no shame but inhabits her life as she lives it, her head held high."
~ Sena Jeter Naslund

I so want to be that woman- completely inhabiting my life with my head always held high! But, I have my fair share of moments looking like that gal in the painting; shoulders slumped from the weight of feeling less-than or the target of attitude. When I came across this quote it seemed to jump off the page at me. It kept rolling around in my brain. Eventually, I realized it's because of a theme I've noticed recently on lots of the blogs I visit.

Don't read further thinking I have an answer to this one, because I don't really. I still struggle with it from time to time, this issue of caring more about what others say about me or think more than I listen to or believe about myself. Why do we fall victim to the trap of caring more about what other people say, rather than use that energy to develop the truth of what we know about ourselves?

As I read what fellow travelers are wishing for and pondering, many of us are working hard to stop the tendency of caring too much about what others think or say. Their opinions, their advice, their notions of us. Their conviction of knowing absolutely what's right for us, what we should do, think, say, feel, believe.

But, it's incredibly difficult to stop falling into the trap. Especially when the other person is someone who is important to us, or we feel has some dominion over our life. We don't like that we do it, but we allow them to have power over us, wound us or undermine our faith in our abilities, our potential, our singular place in this world. It's really hard not to listen to what other people say.

Most of us begin our journey away from caring so much about what other's think by developing a false bravado, "I don't give a damn what they say about me! Who the hell are they any way?!" But, that doesn't really ring true. We say it, but in secret we torment ourselves by going over and over their words till we make ourselves crazy.

When that technique doesn't work, sometimes we seal ourselves away from others figuring it's best to keep apart....stay above it all....let no one in too deep. That way we don't have to worry so much about what's being said. That doesn't work either because we discover we're safe from the considerations of others, but we're also incredibly isolated and lonely. No...that's not the answer either.

Eventually it begins to dawn on us that the only way to be at peace with what other people say, is if we begin to strengthen our own internal voice. The one that is clear, strong and capable of cutting through the noise and clutter of all that's being said about us and around us.

The singular voice that is your spirit, your reflection of your truth as a Real Human Being. You begin to get comfortable with the sound of your own voice. Then you begin to like it. You begin to use it as a compass in the confusion of all the exterior words. It starts to act like a sacred knife cutting through the falsehoods and the inaccuracies...giving you the space to keep moving ahead.

Poor thing never said, "Let them eat cake!"

You accept that you aren't any different from any other Human who has trod the earth. All of us are tempered and trialed by the words that other people say. Some of us are branded wrongly. Falsely accused. Talked about repeatedly. Reviled. Demonized. But, it makes no difference when you know the truth of you...you hold your head high when you can clearly hear your own sacred voice. When you begin to understand that your internal voice is your unique sound of Spirit's song.

When you love the sound of your soul's voice like an operatic Diva, you begin to realize that what other people say does not own you even though it will impact you. You begin to realize that it cannot diminish you unless you allow it...and slowly...

The words, what other people say, becomes nothing more than the background hum of living. The white noise of life. You find yourself smiling as you realize that you are one of those rare Human Beings who feels no shame but inhabits their life as they live it, head held high.

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka She Who Listens

I Need A Favor...

...no, not this kind, but aren't they cute? I need you all to do something for me.

I'm going on a job interview this Wednesday. And, they've asked me to bring three writing samples. I have various examples of my projects and former writing pieces for show and tell,but I want to take three from my blog to leave for their consideration.

I'm hoping you all will help me decide. Would you be willing to consider which three I should take? And, if you could tell me why you liked them so much, that would be great.

Meantime, I'll be processing some very unsettling dreams I had last night. And, I may want to talk about them more but later on. Right now, I'm just shaking me head about them.

Anxiety about this job interview perhaps? Perhaps. But, most definitely there's a disturbance in the force.

So, thanks in advance for helping me out...and I'll look forward to your input as we get ready for my interview later this week!

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka She Who Is Hopeful

Creating Caveats

Now, before we get ourselves all worked up whilst reading this blog 'o mine, let me remind us...I may or may not be crazy. And if that's the case, you may find my writings crazy or not.

Like listening, (How's that for a segue?) you get to decide that- while I can only provide further proof of your stance by what I continue to write. Note To Self: Try to confirm sanity as much as possible, but only when you're feeling sane.

Okay, listen...(Get it? I've been talking about listening for the past two days, funny, huh? Not so much? fine...) listen up!

A couple of comments you made, and now that I think about it, Michael also said something after reading the blog... have suggested stereotypes are being bandied about.

"Unacceptable! The world is too vast to be made verbally small," bellows The Queen! Stereotypes for the sake of discussion, perhaps. Opinions based on personal experience and soft research, for certain. Generalities stated? Most definitely. So there you go thinking, "Ga, that woman over at Your Mother Knows! She's such a hair splitter when it comes to words- makes my ears weary!" Maybe I am and maybe I ain't; let's examine closer.

Would you agree with me, that most often when we use the word, stereotype, we are speaking of a negative opinion, or less than flattering view, held about a certain type of individual or group? I'm thinking, yeah, that's how we use the word.

Without an emotional charge placed on it, stereotype actually means: 1: a plate cast from a printing surface, 2: something conforming to a fixed or general pattern, esp; a standardized mental picture that is held in common by members of a group and that represents an oversimplified opinion, affective attitude, or uncritical judgement (bolding mine)

Now, let's look at the word opinion which can still be an emotional landmine, but not as much as stereotype seems to be: 1: a view, judgement, or appraisal formed in the mind about a particular matter, 2: a belief stronger than impression and less strong than positive (e.g. proven, my addition) knowledge, a generally held view.

And now, let's see what is over at generalities: 1: the quality or state of being general; total applicability.

Hmm, in this case like most, when it comes to words, our understanding is close enough, but not exact. Therein lies the problem. Close enough in our usage only to cause ruffled feathers and misunderstanding. And, that's why I attempt to be so exacting about my words. Most of the time I am, but I'm just a blog writer and sometimes I am not always as successful as I'd hope.

However, you don't really want me to be all that correct all the time. Really. What fun would that be? And, if I don't give you my thoughts on things from the perspective of what my life has larnt me, what fascination would it hold for you?

Not much at all.

When it comes to some of the really huge, large, ginormous topics I go at, a few generalized statements are bound to get made. And, you should be glad, or I'd never get to the good parts. Instead, it would have to be a dissertation with foot notes...BORING.

That said, I feel it should be occasionally re-stated, especially for new readers who don't know me personally, that you have a guarantee here at Your Mother Knows:

While there will be times when I am specifically droll and sarcastic about a topic, I will never talk about a Human Being in a negative or judging way. That's not my job as a blogger or as a spirit in development. I will absolutely give you my honest opinion and thoughts...but it will never be at the expense of another. That's just not my style. I do not believe women to be superior to men in life issues. I do not think men are superior to women in life issues. I believe both have skills and talents that are vitally necessary to any situation. I believe there is fun in examining the differences. I believe there's value in considering how we operate differently.

I can't promise that I won't go on a rant from time to time, hell I even have a label called, Rants! I most certainly will when something or someone tweaks my last living nerve. I don't say that I won't write things that are a bit flip and get you all charged up so that you simply MUST leave me a comment. That's Fab! I love that. I adore it when you challenge me...make me reconsider my vast storehouse of acquired wisdom! (Yes, that was sarcasm just then,) but really, this blog wouldn't be near as meaningful or fun without you there to share your views with me.

I learn new thoughts because of what I post and what you shoot back after you read it. Thank you!

So, if you hear stereotypes here at Your Mother Knows, well that's just fine by me, because as you can see, there's no negative charge to a stereotype unless you put it there.

It's a beautiful day; class dismissed!

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka Wordsmith