Let It Get Cold

When I was teaching Public Relations Writing at Towson Univesity, I told my students to let their writing sit for at least 24 hours before editing. Our brains cannot simultaneously create and correct. So, time is needed for our brains to actually 'see' what's on the page and then the necessary edits and corrections are so much easier to spot. Why? Because the brain resets and sees it as it is, not the way you thought you wrote it. I call this: Allowing Your Writing To Get Cold.

Lately, I've been reading a lot of comments on social media platforms and articles about behaviors in the cyber connection world in which we now live.  And, one of the common threads seems to be the lack of civility and bad behavior we witness or receive.

The real conundrum is the total lack of common sense exhibited by people who simply broadcast everything they do.  Every thought they have.  Every sarcastic or cutting remark goes up for ingestion by the rest of the world.  It's so terribly wrong on so many levels. The absolute lack of understanding that a civilized person does not put their personal stuff out on the sidewalk so people can pick through it, is alarming.

As of the recent election, the amount of stories about bad, horrible behavior and treatment of others on social media has really up-ticked.  While most of us simply thought it would die down post election, which is true to a point, it seems that many people have turned into...

...Internet Trolls.

The Urban dictionary defines a Troll as: “Being a prick on the internet because you can. Typically unleashing one or more cynical or sarcastic remarks on an innocent by-stander, because it's the internet and, hey, you can.”

You might wonder why the name, Troll, which I find pretty accurate and funny.  If you think about the trolls that we all heard about in fairy tales, they seem to live in dark and unsavory places.  They lay in wait under bridges for unsuspecting travelers. Trolls just love frightening before they snatch you up and eat you alive.

If you've ever experienced troll behavior on your social media pages, you know it immediately even if you didn't know what it's called.  You can't help but pull back thinking, "What the hell?  Where did that come from and why did she/he even write that?!?!?!"

The cautionary tale for all of us is: BEWARE!  High stress situations can bring out the hidden troll in all of us.  It's especially upsetting when you are on the receiving end of troll-like behavior from someone you thought was a 'friend' on social media.  You wonder, "What the hell did I write that would cause him/her to be so crappy?"  And, the answer is generally because...

...Social Media has an immediacy that strips away good judgement and polite behavior, especially during emotionally charged times or topics. And, because you're not in the same space with an actual Human Being, looking them in the eyes as it were, we lose our normal filters.  If you had to look at the person with whom you are talking so shitty, well, you probably would hold back.

We are in the brave new world together.  And it's only going to get faster and worse before, or if, it can get better.  As technology shifts, as the world goes faster in a breathless pace of thought to  broadcasting, we must begin learning new ways of being. We must possess new ways of interacting-- new sets of manners and polite behavior.

Because if we don't, all of us will become infected.  All of us will become more Troll than Human Being.

I don't have the answers to what it's going to take to stem the epidemic, but I can start with this one from my teaching days:

When it comes to any topic on social media, especially those that are contentious or highly charged emotionally, before you hit SEND, let your writing get cold.  It's the knee jerk reaction to things that is getting us into Troll territory.  It's not allowing our polite filter to command our response.

When we're speaking and, in a moment of poor judgement, say something that turns out pretty horrible or passive-aggressive, with enough time, the impact will lessen.  Thankfully, we have short memories on so many levels.  But, if you write that same horrible thought, IT LASTS FOREVER! Unless it's deleted, it will be read over and over.

The best I can suggest at this point is, after you let it get cold...even for five minutes and think about how it might sound, you can stop yourself from turning into a troll.

The ultimate test is to ask yourself, "Is it really contributing anything to say it that way? Does it add value or simply cause further strife?"  If the answer to either of those questions is NO, and you would never want someone to comment that way to you, hit DELETE and be a better person for your commitment to be kind instead of an ass-hat Internet Troll.

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka She Who Never Wants To Be A Troll

Liar, Liar Pants On Fire!

Social media, love it or hate it, has completely changed how we deal with each other and how we take in information.  It's still a steep learning curve for most of us.  One area where we all could do better is not spreading falsehoods simply by accepting a post as fact and hitting, "Repost, ReTweet, Rerun." Our childhood taunt of, "Liar, liar pants on fire," should guide what we post!  I wonder, instead of our noses growing when we told a lie, if our fingers caught fire, would we be more careful about what we type?

When I was teaching at Towson University, I had a few class rules.  One of my most stringent was that the Internet could not be the sole or first source of information for papers and presentations.  Was it easier for students to simply sit in front of a computer and type key words into a search block?  Yes. Was it the best source for information?  Not back then and certainly not even now. My students couldn't always grasp that just because it was on the internet, didn't mean the info was verified or correct. Anyone with a keyboard and/or an agenda can add noise without substance to the Internet. As President Reagan said so well, "Trust but verify!" Multiple sources are usually needed.

Maybe this isn't important to everyone, but remember, I was teaching students whose aspirations were to be professional communicators.  And, I believe those professionals need to hold themselves to the highest standard of fact gathering and checking.



In terms of posting to social media, people don't seem to understand the importance of  being factual, true, or accurate.  Is the post real?  Is the story correct?  They simply re-post things without checking first.  I wish I had a dollar for every time I've seen a post with comments,"You need to check this, it's not true." Or, "This is an urban legend!"

Even more amazing is that, even after it's proved wrong, some simply leave it up! A testament to the notion that fiction travels at least three times faster than the truth! If you learn it's incorrect, take it down off your wall!

In the current political climate and the horribly divisive world we now occupy, I believe it's more critical than ever to know that what we post is real.  At least the facts should be real because how we feel about the facts is enough of a powder keg these days to set off fights and bad feelings way more than is necessary.

It's interesting that people easily find info via the internet or on social media and don't stop to think that it's just as easy to check facts before posting.  There are dozens of sites, the sole purpose of which, are to give you the facts.

I like Snopes.  And even though it has come under fire as being liberal leaning, I don't worry about that.  I use them to get baseline confirmation of authenticity.

FactCheck is the other site that I rely upon, especially for political stories.

It's ironic that people can't tolerate having anyone lie to their face, but they don't seem to understand that a lie in print is just as damaging or frustrating as a verbal lie.  Maybe even more so because verbals fade, but once something's in print- it's always there.

The Managing Editor of Snopes, Brooke Brankowski, has the right take on this issue, "If it arouses an emotional response in you- if you see the headline and go, 'I can't believe this, I'm so angry,'- then it's probably something you need to check against something else."

If reading something causes an immediate strong reaction, it's always best to check it.  Your gut is, generally, a great lie detector!  Trust it!

Posting things that you don't know to be correct is the social media version of gossip!  If you can't abide gossip in real time, don't let your social media posts be gossip!

While most people make it their goal to never speak an untruth, we all need to start holding ourselves to the same standard in terms of what we post.

You can trust me.  I always check my facts before posting them for your consumption.  I promise not to lie to you with my mouth or my posts.  I hope you'll all join me in this important challenge.

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka She Who Tells The Truth

How Things Are Worded

I've been absent from my blog for awhile for a variety of reasons, most of them just general life craziness, and being ill for the first few weeks in the new year...but here it is March and I'm just a slacker.  Clearly, I can't multi-task like I used to; but I digress. I need to thank one of my readers, Joan, who sent me an message to make sure things were all right and let me know she still comes looking for blog posts.  That made me feel really good, Joanie, so thanks for that.  I'd like to tell her that it was her comment that got me back here, but I'd be fibbing.  While it did remind me that I've been remiss and make me cringe a bit, it was a disagreement I had today with Michael that brings me to the keys.

He was saying that he is distressed about a story he heard today on the news about how some of the NHS hospitals in England are placing, "still-borns, and (spontaneously or deliberately,) aborted fetuses in their incinerators, even importing them from other hospitals, and in efforts to stay in compliance with green energy mandates, using them to heat the hospitals."  Well no wonder he's distress, that's absolutely terrible and appalling!

And, I got my back up totally, too.  But, perhaps not for the reason you might think. I got angry because the story is, excuse the pun, totally inflammatory!  Let me explain why....

You all remember that I have been the spokesperson and Public Relations Director for a couple of hospitals, right?  Most large hospitals have incinerators on their campuses.  It is a way to stay in direct control of the refuse, garbage, and other waste material that hospitals generate.  It is a way to keep things that may be contagious, contaminated or problematic out of landfills .  But, mostly, it is so the institution stays in direct control of things that are no longer viable or necessary- such as amputated limbs and tissue samples. Hospitals have a moral responsibility to care for the disposal of these Human remains, and most do not take that responsibility lightly.

Now, before you go all crazy, let me tell you that these incinerators are highly maintained and in most cases even exceed the EPA regulations about particulate matter that is released, etc.  The heat is so very high in these incinerators that the burn turns into vapor and the particulate is almost none existent.  If the hospital with an incinerator belongs to a health system that has smaller hospitals as members without incinerators, it's not uncommon for those to transport their medical waste to the incinerator for burning.  There are a great deal of local, federal, and general approvals that must be acquired for this to happen, but it's not unprecedented.  Using their own resources is a cost control issue for the health system, being less expensive than hiring a contractor.

Why do I know this?  Because one of the hospitals in which I worked, was built smack in the middle of many neighborhood communities.  It truly is a community hospital.  And, when stories would hit the media about incinerators and other horror stories, I would have to refresh my knowledge of current EPA regulations and our incinerator's specifications, and be ready to respond to the concerns that our neighbors would have, yet again, thanks to the Media stories.  Not that I blamed them for their concerns, and to be honest, I totally enjoyed dealing with these sorts of scenarios.  We actually invited them to come in to see it if they wished.  When our health system considered using our incinerator for some of the waste of our member hospitals, we gained legal approvals, but met with so much resistance from our local communities and neighbors, that we did not pursue it further.

Now with Green Energy regulations taxing the resources of  most companies to remain or even meet incredibly tough regulations, it's not surprising that institutions are looking at the energy they expend to run their incinerators, their facilities, their plants, their operations in order to see how it can be recaptured in terms of benefit to the facility, in this case the hospitals in England have put in place a mechanism to heat their facilities from the heat the incinerator generates.  I say it sounds like an excellent case study in re-cycling!

But while Mother Jones or Greenpeace might find that sort of recycling story of interest, I can tell you the general Media will not.  There's no there, There.  It's a non-story.  But, talk about using babies in your incinerator to heat your building ?  You cruel, unfeeling bastards!  Now that's a story!!!!!

And, that's also crap.  Does the Media care that a gangrenous leg is placed in an incinerator for disposal?  How about a biopsy sample?  Or tumors? Or an appendix, or a ruptured spleen?  NO!  That wouldn't grab your attention.  But fetuses and babies?!  Now we're talking!!!!

Use those words in your story and you get images of sweaty goon-like men standing around tossing Hansel and Gretel into an oven...or tiny defenseless children into the flames of hell!  Worst of all, those poor innocents are simply, uncaringly tossed in with the left over salad from patient trays, and cardboard, and other junk that no one needs or wants.  It's the stuff of concentration camps.  And all to keep your sorry, insensitive butts toasty warm.

All of it- not true.  The people who run incinerators are specially trained.  They know that they are supposed to treat the Human parts with respect.  Most are not burned with the general waste.  They are held until there are enough for a separate burn.  Can I guarantee that Human remains aren't mix in with other refuse to be burned?  No.  I can't.  But, I do know what I know.

At the Catholic hospital for which I worked, the priests preformed a blessing over those parts and remains before being burned.  I always loved that additional reverence, but even at the non-faith-based institutions, the requirement for respect is still there.

At all hospitals, when a woman loses her baby, she is immediately offered professional support.  The labor and delivery staff don't treat those sad cases as less than a baby.  That lose is a baby, no matter what month it happens.  Generally the mother is asked if she would like to have her baby prepared for burial.  Many choose that option, and I might also add that most funeral homes offer their services gratis in those sad cases.

But if a woman undergoes an abortion, or if the parents do not wish to bury their baby, how would the remains be handled?  By the hospital; in their incinerator; with respect.  Even though this is something the average person wouldn't even think about until the Media decides to sensationalize a normal part of back room operations into a horror story.

Or would you and the Media prefer that the hospital simply ship it off to a landfill?  How about those amputated limbs?  Those breast biopsies?

I can't speak for how health care is delivered in other countries.  I can only attest to what I know from my own experience here in the United States.  But, I will say this...most Human Beings who decide to make a career in health care, despite how difficult it is becoming, continue to go in each day to make a difference and bring comfort to those who are in need and suffering.  Do they succeed every minute of every day?  No, but they certainly try.  They do not for one moment, take death lightly.  Do they see it all the time and become hardened to it?  Perhaps, but not when it comes to labor and delivery and the lose of one of those babies.  I don't accept that version of this news story.  And, neither should you.

How we word something changes it from something to ponder into something to horrify.  And, with all the harsh things in this world, does the Media really need to make it worse?  NO!  But, then again, I'm not in the Media and worried about my bottom line, the viewer numbers, advertising revenue, and market share.  However, you need to be aware, that those are the criteria that drive all of their stories...not, as you might think or hope, informing you about the world around you.

And, as it relates to this post, there is a reason we say, "You don't want to know how the sausage is made."  There are many aspects to running complex operations that you have never considered or even thought to wonder about.  Perhaps that's all for the better.  But, when the Media brings it up, it's best to always remember The Media has an agenda for putting forth a story.  Always.

Okay, So I Caved

 So, last night after many months of thinking it's totally stupid, I finally caved and set up a Twitter account.  My first Tweet was deeply profound, so I will share it here with all of you, "It was time.  I finally joined.  Welcome, Holly to the Twitter world."  I know, right?  Where do I come up with this stuff?!

The reason I avoided it for so long is that it is technology that totally alludes me in terms of its importance and necessity.  I mean, really, it's like a drive-by strafing of thoughts.  Who cares, I think, WTF?  What does this add to my life except one more responsibility and chance to make noise?

The other reason I waited is because I don't own a smart phone.  I don't even have a texting package on my phone.  I used to have an iPhone, but when I got my iPad, in an effort to cut down on expenses, I opted to only pay for one data package and I use my iPad more than I ever use a phone.  Twitter was built for on the fly communications via phones.  You can even post pics with the phone, upload via Instagram and wham, the link is up on Twitter with a quick caption.  No phone? Didn't seem to make a a lot of sense.  But, then I thought, "Well, I suppose I could use it on my iPad and laptop, but why the hell would I do that?!"

 The more I pondered it, the more I realized I had the very same reaction when a few years back, a communication professional I really respect asked me, "Why aren't you blogging?  You should be.  You have a great writing style that is totally in sync with blogging."  In my head where I live and it's sunny all the time, I was saying, "WTF?  Who cares what I think and what difference would what I say mean to the world except to clog up the Internet even further?!  Why would I ever blog?!" 

I started to think about it and I had to admit, probably for the same reason some of us keep a journal.  I stopped doing that years ago, and I now realize that blogging has become my open journal that I invite you to come and snoop around.  I don't really think I'm an exhibitionist, but neither do I shun the hot spot light.  And, I have often wondered why I even bother.  That's when I realize that at some point, blogging stopped being solely for my amusement and more about my need to feel validated and heard.  My need to be part of the big world.  To my mind, that's when the slippery slope started on so many levels. 

My first venture into socializing via media was with Facebook as it was for millions of us.  I can't imagine not checking in on my loved ones this way now, but I'd be fibbing if I told you it isn't a total mind suck sometimes.  And, I'd be misleading if I didn't admit I don't know what it's really good for and why I bother. 

My friend, Toni, the other day openly and candidly announced on her wall, "Still trying, and failing, to understand Facebook."    If you are over the age of 40 something, you're lying if you don't admit to the same.

It took me a long period of questions from Michael about the use of it all before he decided to take the plunge and open his own fb account.  Now he uses it all the time, but the reason he does is because his company is into it big time. He has a Twitter account, but never uses it.

Most likely because I was on fb, I started getting invites from LinkedIn and because I have worked independently for years and it seems to be the site where professionals go to connect up, I decided to join.  However, I get very little action from it, most likely because I don't really understand its benefit.

I was surprised the other day when I saw that my account had been viewed by a job recruiter.  She had done this prior to our conversation.  I wish I'd received better news from her than I did, but I'm left with the impression that it's most likely time to reinvent myself professionally now that I'm a senior in the job market world.  And I most likely need to modify my expectations and desires.  Sad to say. 

The point is, that after I realized that my profile on that site was looked at prior to a conversation, I got on it right away to freshen it up and added to it.  It reminded me of a very valuable point- if you put your info out there, you must do regular house-keeping and maintenance!   Or, if you decide it's not of value, take it down!  You wouldn't leave important documents out on the street, would you?

Here's one I also joined, and admit I totally don't get.  If you do and you like it, let me know what I'm missing and how I can make it better or I think it will have to go.  What's different about it than Linked In is a mystery to me.

Anyone?
No?  Hello? 

Here's one I really thought I'd like after I kept reading about it on my friends' walls and in their blogs.  Some people have found this to be like crack...they simply can't leave it alone and find that they lose hours a day drifting on here.  Turns out, this one I haven't really got the knack for.  It's a highly visual site; think of it as a virtual bulletin board where you can pin/post the most wonderful things that capture your interest.  Sounds good, yes?  But you have to be willing to search the Internet like a blood hound to find stuff.  At least that's how it feels to me.

Now, friend Toni who is still attempting to understand fb?  Well, she's outstanding at this Pinterest thing because, although she is good with words, she is a highly creative, visual person and her art leads her in that direction with no effort.  Me?  Not so much.  We all know words are my wheel house.

This is my friend, Annie.  You can tell that she is young and full of excitement about life.  I love her; she keeps me fresh in my thinking.  Many moments have been spent in discussion about these various outlets for crazy I've listed here.  To her credit, when she doesn't know, she'll say so, however she knows way more than I ever will.  When I listen to her talk about what she does with all of this stuff, she fuels my interest in trying.  She is my social networking muse!  She never gets down on me for not understanding...very patient is my Annie and her enthusiasm is infectious so I keep at it. 

It strikes me that all of these Social Media tools, for us of a certain age, are no different than the telephone effected people when they became available for in-home installation.  Most people said, "I've never had one, I don't need it, and I don't want that contraption in my house!"  When something is new, brand new, it's hard to imagine what benefit it can have to your daily life.  I maintain, however,  that even though some of the technology is absolutely not relevant to you, it doesn't mean you shouldn't poke around in it to learn how it works. I'm sure when Human Beings first got up off four feet and onto the back two, they couldn't imagine how important that would be to things, either!

The fact is, we do not yet know what Social Media is going to mean to us and our lives.  We're just at the beginning of it and it's being invented as we go.  You can choose to stay out of it until the bugs are worked out, or you can get in it now and paddle around in the pool.  Up to you.

But, let me remind you, this is different from a car or a widget you might wish to buy.  It's not an inanimate object.  What this is, is Human Beings relating in a digital age.  It's their voices you hear, even though you're reading the words or viewing the images they post.  It is how they are connecting to each other.  It might seem cold and impersonal to us who grew up in a different age and stage, but if you ask someone like Annie, she would find it hard to imagine life any other way.  Relationships and life for her is done through tweets and walls and pinning and linking in.  Her tools for reaching out and touching and hugging are via a computer and her phone.

And yet, she finds the best of all communication is face to face.  However, unlike most of us, she'll more than reach for the chance to keep in touch via electronics and social media instead of waiting until she can have that face to face encounter.  I think my young friend is most certainly wiser than I am in this regard.

So, I'm going to follow her lead, feeling truly stumbly and stupid while I do.  Hell, I really don't have many people who will follow me on any of these sites so my blunders will go unnoticed-- I hope.  I can at least put myself out there.  And, that's why I caved and joined Twitter. If nothing else, Twitter will teach me to express myself in a very narrow format; you only have 140 characters to work with!   If you care to follow me there to see how it goes, it's @HollyDietor.

Oh, and by the way, if you decide to follow me on this blog or anywhere else now that you've seen Annie, I'll be pissed that you didn't do it for my wit and wisdom, but I'll understand.  She is gorgeous, isn't she?!  And, I'm willing to do whatever it takes to connect.

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka She Who Is Stumbling Through The Digital Age

Ironic, Isn't It?

Just the other day, I was writing about the Internet and how it is being edited, without our knowledge or consent, and I've been thinking more about that and wondering where it will all lead us.

This morning, my daily consideration was this:

"The challenge of our times is to rebuild connection in our lives by reaching out to others and by being part of something larger than ourselves."
~ Edward M. Hallowell

The irony was clearly pointed out to me, that in this age of information and access, we seem to be more and more isolated. With all the tools at our disposal that makes information instantaneous, we seem to know less and less about those individuals right next to us.

We come and go and wave at our neighbors in passing. We smile, ask, "How are you?" But, we generally don't wait for an extensive answer as we have our car door open and one foot already inside the door. We've learned to be brief in our responses to questions that are polite but not being asked with genuine interest.

Email makes it easier to chat someone up or hit an individual with what I call, 'drive-by communications.' But we don't seem to extend ourselves into anything in-depth anymore. We've become lazy. Or indifferent. Or exhausted. Or overwhelmed. Or....

When it comes to each other, we've become isolated. With blogging, we can reach across the globe to each other and often form friendships that are incredibly rewarding. Yet, we no longer take the time to sit on each other's porches in real time with real people. Ironic.

By nature, I am sort of an oxymoron....I love people. I love to listen to them. I love to talk with them. While at the same time, I am also rather a isolationist. I can go days without the itch to leave my home. I am perfectly content to stay inside and watch the world through my windows. It can stay out there while I stay inside. And yet, I can't help but wonder, even though that suites me fine, am I doing my part to stay connected? Am I doing my part to form a sense of community? Probably not.

And, while I share myself freely on my blog and in emails and letters, I know I could do better at calling others. I know I could extend myself more by visiting with others. It's not about time; it's about intent.

In this world of ours...this brave new world of Tweets and Facebook and blogs and Internet and emails and Snail Mail and iPads and, and, and...information and access isn't the issue.

The issue is that it takes energy and commitment to be part of something bigger than ourselves. We must be willing to invest ourselves in real time with open hearts in order to truly contribute.

But, the question remains, in this hectic world that is all too much, all too 24/7 now... what does that look like? How do we do it? Perhaps by opening the door and looking for someone we know who lives close. By standing still and being completely open and present to them, no matter how long the encounter lasts. Maybe by smiling at others we pass in stores or at the mall and taking a moment to look into their eyes. To let that individual, who's name we will never know, understand that we 'saw' them.

Maybe it means just asking the questions of ourselves, "How do I let others know they matter to me when I encounter them? How do I continue to reach to be part of something bigger than myself? Can I try harder to be a better part?"

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka She Who Cares To Be A Part...

Go On, Take A Good Look!!!

I promised you when I started this blog that I would always talk about the things that need to be said, but that people shy away from! Remember that I told you that! Okay, let's get to it.

Do you own a washing machine and dryer? I'm sure you do. Most of us do, and we use the hell out of them. When was the last time you actually bothered to clean the machine that cleans your clothes? What do you mean? You don't? Really? That's just stupid! It has to be cleaned. It cleans your clothes but it doesn't clean itself. It's not an oven, for heaven's sake.

Now, let's take it further. Do you have a front loading washer? I'm lucky enough to have one. Love the damn thing. Love it for the low water it needs to be efficient, yada, yada, yah....

I wipe it down on the inside and around the gasket each time I'm finished with it. And, very regularly, I take out the drawer where you put the detergent and bleach etc, and clean that with hot water. Yeah, I'm just Martha Stewart and Betty Crocker all rolled up into one nifty package.

So smug...yep, that was me when my neighbor was in the other day and asked, "Holly are your machines new?" "Nope, five years old, why?" "Wow, they look new," laughs and kids, "Do you use them much?" I come back, "Have you met my husband, Mr. Clean? He thinks it's his job to give me laundry every week; he calls it job security! I use the heck out of them!!"

Yep, smug me...just proves how worthwhile it is to clean down the machines regularly. Especially important when you have your laundry room on the first floor of your home where they're likely to be seen by visitors.

SMUG, I tell ya!

So, last night, I'm looking at the dispenser drawer and I start to ponder that pretty regularly, even though I'm so good, I see what looks like moldy black spots...and that shouldn't be. So, out it comes for one more wipe-down, and then I decided to wipe out the big open slot where the thing lives.

OMG! EWWWW!!!!!! I'd never thought to look in there! Holy Crap! Get me a Hazmat Suite immediately!

Can I tell you? It was coated black...with mold. Yep, all that bleach, detergent, fabric softner, and still covered with mold. I so did not expect that!! But, then I started to consider, of course!!!!; it's always moist and seals tightly!

Go on, take a look at yours! You'll see it! It's there, I promise you....lurking there. Get cleaning immediately!

I battle mold so much in various spaces of the house...like the shower, and places like that. And, I know we didn't have these issues when I was growing up. I never saw my grandmother and aunt fighting against it all the time... and trust me...they were clean freaks. Never heard them even discussing mold as a battle ground.

I know I'm older and likely to sound as though the world was a harder but nicer place, (when I was a kid....fill in the blank...no, I didn't walk 10 miles up hill both ways in my bare feet to school...that was my father's generation,) and I'm not saying life was better, but mold? We never heard about it or saw it. Okay, maybe once in awhile you'd see the caulk around the tub get some funky dark spots, but I swear, that's all! Now, even toilets get mold in them if you don't clean them with religious fervor!

Oh, and speaking of the caulk around the tub? If it's in good shape and you don't want to pull it out because of mold spots, just take a paper towel, wet liberally with bleach, leave it there on top of the spot. In a few hours? Gone! What magic!!!

I think we have such issues with it now because our energy efficient houses are so freaking air-tight that they don't breathe anymore. The air flow is virtually non-existent. Yeah, energy efficient means it's easier on the pocketbook in terms of utility bills etc, but it creates an entirely different issue for the home owner. Now we worry about the toxic nature of all our cleaning products and chemicals...but what's the choice when you're battling mold/mildew/chaos??

So, I promised you I'd tell you this stuff, and here's the lesson for today: go look in places like your front loader and for the love of all that's holy, clean it out! You'll thank me, but not while you're doing it; then you'll be cursing me for writing this stupid blog about mold. Ewww! Gross!!!!

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly

Dear BP

Dear British Petroleum:
There was a time in my world, when BP stood for blood pressure; now it is synonymous with a rise in most Americans' bp, that could make most of us stroke out! Please, I need to know by your actions and not just your talk that you are aware how catastrophic it is...what cutting corners has likely cost us.

Today, my morning contemplation may be something meant for you to consider, so I'll share it here:

" We should not be embarrassed by our difficulties, only by our failure to grow anything beautiful out of them." ~Alain De Botten

I don't care about the how and the details...I just want you to stop defending yourself and get to work returning our Gulf of Mexico into the one that made me sing the Creator's praises when I stood at its edge in December. The place that burned this beautiful image into my brain. You owe us that. You owe us.

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly

A Fox In The White House

News Flash: I don't give a fuzzy rat's ass where you go for your information.

Could not care less what might be your favorite haunt for news and updates. Who your favorite anchor person is, what personality traits you look for when you turn to them for news.

Like you, I have my opinions on where I go to hear and see what's being 'told' is what's going on in the world around me. But, I'm not going to tell you which are my preferences because they don't matter here. Neither do yours. It's not about that stuff at the moment. Our opinions and preferences could be best debated over drinks one night so call me if you want to get together.

This is not about whether you adore or despise the current Administration, The President, his staff, their politics. I don't give a damn about that. DO not!

No, let's get on target here; I insist that you pay attention to what is critically important here...and it's not what we think and our opinions.

We're headed down a VERY slippery slope at the moment, and as a paid professional communicator, I'm bringing it to your attention. I have always seen it as part of my job, this attempting to make certain that you have a thought and I have a care about things. That you understand what the issue is really and not what you might think it to be, or being deceived by a smoke screen to see....

So what is at issue here, what I want you to consider is that, as a citizen of a free society you have the right to expect that all voices, views and takes on a story are open for your consideration. Available for your review. Easily accessible for you to take up. Or NOT. But, that's for YOU to decide for yourself. Not the government; NEVER the government!

A free society must have a free media. MUST HAVE! And, it's dependent on us as free citizens to defend the right to free speech and an open media!

Let's get something straight because I believe you're getting confused-- you don't have to like, or respect, or care to watch all news outlets, all broadcast mediums. As a matter of fact, that's what I'm talking about; what a beautiful country we live in where you can say, "I absolutely HATE, (fill in the blank) news! Wouldn't watch them if someone held a gun to my head. I will only trust, (fill in the blank) to get solid information."

But, in this day and age, you better figure out soon and fill in that blank for yourself. Begin tuning in to it regularly. Because the world is changing on a dime these days and you need to know what's going on. Further more, you need to have the courage to spend some time with the one(s) you think you hate to get a different slant on the issues. Do it to question what is being reported to you. It's the only way to know where you stand on important things.

You must have the courage to look at important things from both sides of the aisle. MUST! Do not be afraid of the static in the world around you. Do not ignore it. But, neither should you allow fear to run your world. Just get facts and proceed accordingly. Stay informed at some level.

When you hear rumblings of our White House, which is the epicenter of the world's beacon of a free nation trying to do things to shut out a broadcast channel from important meetings? Are you freaking kidding me?!!!!?!!! You better set your hair on fire and start screaming! If you allow the government to control which media has access to information so that ultimately your access is limited, then we better kiss our asses good bye.

If it hadn't been for the ethical behavior of the other News outlets who pushed back and said, "No! If Fox News isn't here, we won't cover it either," they may have pulled off that crap. May have gotten away with it! SHAME on them for even trying it! And bravo to the Media for standing up. Even if they only did it because they know that, if they sat by and allowed it to happen to Fox, eventually it could happen to them.

Whatever the motivation, altruistic or self-preservation, I don't care! I'm just glad they did the right thing. So now it's your turn! You need to do the right thing as well. Talk to your friends about this latest little stunt...

Ask any person who lives in a country where the government controls the media how that's working for them. They'll all answer the same, "It doesn't!" So you better do your part to make certain that your government officials know how you feel about their attempts to control it recently.

You absolutely can hate Fox News if that's your feeling. Tell anyone who will listen because that's your right. In this country you have choices. So you better make sure you understand the problem of this bunch in the White House acting like mafia members or petulant high schoolers trying to keep out those they don't like from their social club.

The White House, President Obama and his staff, DO NOT have the right to set or control the scope of news coverage for the American public. DO NOT. Free media makes for a free society. You play a role in that...you must talk to others about this recent event of trying to shut out a news source. And, if you're not mad about this, you damn well should be!

You better hope you never have a fox in your hen house. But, as a citizen who enjoys the privileges of a free society, you better make absolutely certain that along with every other news source, there is a Fox in the White House.

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka A Professional Communicator

Gone Without A Trace No Longer

So, I'm thinking about the black smudges of cyber ink that I'm creating this morning. I'm watching the letters form on the computer screen as they fly out of my noggin, through my fingers, to the key board and onto the screen.

Once I check them, they will be sent via a mouse click to the blog when I hit the, 'publish post' button. A mere matter of seconds later, you will be able to review the latest addition to Your Mother Knows. I will take a sip of coffee and be satisfied that I was able to come up with another entry. How does she do it? Actually, she's not sure. And, some mornings when she sits down at the keys, she thinks, "Writing is lonely work!"

I'm not sure why that surprises me as much as it does. It's an aspect that I didn't consider...the lonely part, I mean. I suppose, previously, I wrote articles, memos, reports and never really worried about them after I was done. It was getting it finished by deadline that was the victory. I quickly moved off to the next item clamoring for attention. Unless I got a letter from a reader, which was always very gratifying, I didn't consider what I had completed because there was still so much that needed to be done.

However, this blog is completely different for me. I totally invest in it. Most likely because it is my brain child. It's me, sent via computer, to you. It's very personal. And, I find that many days it feels as if I am having a conversation and thinking/hoping that people are there and hearing me. But, without feedback I don't know for certain. Without reader comments, I can't know if it's really worth the cyberspace it takes up. Having shared that, I hope my readers understand their worth and have a sense of importance to the success of this endeavor.

So, writing daily can be lonely. Ultimately, a writer has to rest in the belief that what they write is worthy and will reach the correct ears. It's all we can do. The urge to create and share is too great and can't be ignored.

But, here's another thing to think about. And, I'm saying this especially to my 'younger' readers who use the computer, their cellies, and other gizmos to stay completely, totally, 24/7 connected to their friends and world. These items are part of the main-frame of your life; things you take for granted. But, they are deceptive and you need to be more careful with this technology and ability. You need to understand what's really at stake here. You need to rethink this techno-world. You need to stay more vigilant than you are at present.

Case in point: Just yesterday, two of my Facebook friends, not connected to each other, posted the same article as a thread. It was about the fact that, even if you take your page down...close it down and delete it, the content is still accessible by Facebook. Still accessible, even though it's your intention that it be locked up. That's a potential nightmare and Facebook is now working to sort it out based on tons of negative comments they received about their new policy.

Same with this blog. If I decide to quit today, and delete my account...I'd move on to another hobby and forget about it because I did my part and deleted it. But, even so, the residue of the blog remains. What happens to the cyber residue of our personal lives that remains?

We've already had cases of employers going immediately to Facebook, MySpace, etc, to view a potential employee's page. To see what sort of craziness might be there. To be a cyber Peeping Tom in order to determine what sort of person they may be considering. Or, using it to make the decision to exclude the person from the list of qualified candidates. And, there's nothing to stop them because it's public information.

I'm not sure about you, but I can say with a certainty, that at times there are things on my page that I wouldn't want to be used as a barometer of my professional abilities. Facebook is simply a diversion and a fun way to pass time with those I know. Reality check- you can't be that naive! None of us can. If you put it up, it's there to be seen. By anyone. For any reason. What does your Facebook page say about you?

Walking through the airport the other day we passed a guy having a very animated conversation, appearing to be talking to himself. Very disturbing. When I was a kid, Dad was adamant that I cross the street away from anyone talking out-loud to themselves. Now, thanks to Bluetooth technology, many of us walk about looking like inmates from the asylum as we conduct our business in front of anyone and everyone!

This guy was going on and on about how, "he's a friggin' idiot and I can't stand that I have to deal with him..." That was as much as I was barraged with as we passed each other. But, it was enough to remind me, "Wow, buddy, do you think you're in a cone of silence so that you can say those things and not be overheard by the entire world?!"

Cell phones are not private. Everyone around you hears your business. Most of us are uncomfortable being put into the position of being eaves-droppers. But, we don't have a choice. People talk in front of you saying anything and everything. It's all TMI!!!!! Way too much information!

I'm asking you to stop using these wonderful contraptions without consideration. You must be vigilant and more aware of their power. Be more concerned about the info you share in the open. Think about the places people can now look to find you and form their opinions of 'you.' You must be the keeper of your life in this cyber world of ours. It's not gone when you are done with it. Parts remain.

You can burn a diary. You can rip a letter into a million tiny pieces. You can destroy a phone number. Crack a CD. Shred a document. Any hard copy can be gone without a trace.

But info shared on air-waves, and most especially in public, stays public. The computer parts of you remain. Somewhere. Somehow. For someone to use or see. Even after you've deleted it or closed it. If what you say is something that will embarrass you at some point down the line, do not use open technology to share it. Do not put it on your computer pages. Do not! Because if it can come back to haunt you, it may just do that.

Information, even after the delete key is struck, is gone without a trace no longer. So stay aware. Be grateful for technology and have fun with it. But always remember that mass communication tools work for you and just as quickly against you. Proceed with caution.

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly

Me & My iPod

I've never been more enamored of a piece of equipment as I am my iPod. Not even my iPhone comes close. The phone is wonderful, but it's a tool. For me, a phone is a phone even though this one can do everything but dance. I'm sure it's just a question of time till Apple figures out how to make it do that, too. Among other things on the phone, I have a bubble-wrap-popping application just because I love the sound it makes. I know...crazy.

But my iPod, which I've practically imbued with a personality, goes everywhere with me. It's in my ears most nights as I fall asleep. I'm one of those people who needs music to go to sleep.

As a kid, I kept a radio on the floor by my bed. Can you imagine how frustrating that was for my father who didn't like any sound while he attempted sleep? The guy who couldn't bend down to turn it off? Yet, most mornings when I awoke, the radio was off. Fairies? Nope. Just Dad in his usual ingenious, determined way. I learned later that he used his crutch to turn the knob till it went off. Or, if that didn't work, he'd grip the cord with crutch tips. Standing unaided, he'd fish the radio up to dangle in front of him; turn it off and quietly put it back down.

It would have been so much easier and expected if he woke me every night growling, "Turn off the damn radio!" Instead, because he accepted that it worked best for me, he struggled with the blasted contraption. Don't you just love Jimmy?!

My iPod makes this much easier. I listen; fall asleep; it turns off all on its own. Peaceful nights in the kingdom once more. What I couldn't have predicted when Michael hinted about giving me one, is how much I would adore the thing. I didn't even know I wanted one. I had my CDs and wonderful AR speakers. More than enough for me. When they first came out, I heard a reporter saying, "Imagine being able to take your entire CD collection with you anywhere, anytime? That's what Apple is making possible!" He went on and on about the miracle of it all. I remember thinking, "Why would anyone care if they could do that?"

The Christmas morning I opened it, I was surprised and pleased. But it was more because I suspected how expensive it was, not because it was something I was dying to own. The next thought was, "Oh, crap...it's a gizmo. I'm not good with gizmos. You have to learn how to work them. It's probably complicated and I'll never use it. So now, he'll think I don't like it..."

Younger people seem to take naturally to technology. Thankfully, we have two technical proficients in the family. Evan set it up for me; Melissa helped by showing hers and talking through all the wonderful things it does. They were very patient. The family had fun while watching it go-live on my computer. Off it went from there. Now, I have about 700, yes- that's a real number, CDs on the thing. It's even named, Queen'sTunes.

I know I don't need all those CDs. In reality, can I actually listen to all of that music? The answer is, yes: just not in one sitting! It's grand to have choices. I may be ready to dump some of the music off of it, now. I've had it for over a year and I know the ones I've not really listened to much. No reason to keep them. On the other hand, since they only use a smidge of the memory, I could just leave them. We'll see how it goes.

So, here's my point about all of this: My iPod is a great example of a lot of things in life. New ideas that fall outside of the familiar territory. Most likely discounted as, 'Not for me,' until you discover the relevance. Especially with technology, until someone can demonstrate the difference it can make, it doesn't seem worth the effort to try and learn it. It's not that we're technology averse so much as we're technology unaware. But, once we get it? We really get it!

If you're a younger individual and want to relate to an older person, remember to talk about relevance. Share what you know and help us understand how it could relate to our lives. We'll appreciate your take on it all.

Instead of discounting the unfamiliar, how about we adopt an attitude of curiosity- of openness to possibility? With gizmos. And ideas. Most certainly with people. I hope I'm always open to trying, even if I'm not one to hunt out the wonders of the latest gadget. Hell, I'm still amazed by e-mail! But, life is better and increasingly connected thanks to technology. So, I want to be a bit more aware of the possibilities it holds. Just as I want to be curious about every Human Being I encounter.

It's normal to love what you know- what works. But, be open to what's coming. I can't predict that any gizmo will please me as much as my iPod, however it could happen. I hear this thingy called a Kindle is the new darling of the technically intrepid.

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly