Monday, August 10, 2009

Here's To The Moments

My Sister-in-law, Theresa, is the only Frock sibling who still resides in Hanover. So all of this turmoil in Dad's life has fallen on her to manage. She has done a yeoman's job of navigating the entire grueling marathon. We're all exceedingly grateful.

Theresa is one of those lively, no-nonsense, love-you-completely, do-anything-for-you women who you hope to have in your life. We all know how lucky we are that she's the one at Dad's side while he fights the good fight. Theresa is a counselor and works with high-schoolers. Tell me she's not on track for sainthood, huh?

Recently, on one of his really bad days, Dad barked "What the hell am I doing all this for?!" Which is perfectly understandable. It's been hard...more seems lost than gained. No positive end in sight and uphill all the way.

Theresa's inspired response to that lament hit me between the eyes like a magic bullet. She said to Dad, "You're right. Life sucks. It sucks for everyone at times. But, every now and then we get a 'moment.' Like when you see your grandchildren graduate or achieve a goal there's a 'moment'. Or you taste something really good, there's a 'moment.' Or you're with all of us and we're laughing, there's another 'moment'.

"So we all live for those moments. Dad, if you're telling me you have no more 'moments' to look forward to, and there aren't any more 'moments' to hope for, then you're right, there's no reason to keep fighting this fight."

And, she got quiet. After a brief period, Dad said something profound, "Shut up and drive." Which is Carroll's way of saying, "Pax vobiscum." He hasn't asked that question again. In part because he had a 'moment' with Spirit via Theresa.

It really is about the moments. Not the minutes. Sometimes not even the days. It's the moments. And, moment to moment is as much as most of us can manage at times. Should want to manage because life is all in the details and our awareness of them. The details of a good life reside in the moments.

So I'm sharing two moments with you:

How different can one little girl look in 30 days? Take a look at sweet Livy there sitting up and looking more like a toddler than an infant. Sitting up all on her own. Being very proud of herself! Doing that rocking back and forth thingy on her knees just before the brain puts it all together and crawling and forward mobility are just around the corner.

Seven months can make such changes come about. It is a miracle, yes?

And, let me leave you with this one:

Recently, Dad agreed to go with Theresa and have a pedicure. Yep. First and only time in his life...and he was game enough to give it a go. That's why I love him! He's really up for most experiences. The stories that he has from that road trip? I'll save them for another time.

Even though the picture isn't the best, I love it because you see Theresa about to break out in hysterical laughter over this happy, silly moment in a long struggle toward life. I say toward life because Dad has decided he most definitely has more 'moments' to look forward to and he absolutely wants them.

So, in your moments today, if there's something you've really wanted to try or were always hoping you'd do, be it crawl for the first time, or reward yourself with some pampering, I hope you'll...

...Take a moment and really live it.

Namaste' Till Next Time,


Tabitha@ichoosebliss said...

Holly, I am one grateful ball of emotion today it seems. Your sister-in-law sounds amazingly beautiful. What she said is so true. Life can suck, things are hard to comprehend at times, but then there are the moments that make us just stop and say "Thank You Father."

I'm grateful to have read this today and will dwell in my moments today as if they are my last.


cinner said...

Beautiful post Holly, Theresa sounds awesome and seems to have a good way with Dad, How special they went for a pedicure...I can just hear him now if he is anything like my Dad was. No wonder she is about to burst out laughing. Be strong my friend and live and cherish.

Kyddryn said...

Good morning, Mizz Holly - lovely post, as usual.

There've been times when the hope of another "moment" was what kept me moving from one day to the next. Stretching those moments out, making them last, putting them in my memory's pocket to savor again later - it's how I get by when my neurons are misfiring and the depression is kicking my...erm...anatomy.

Life can be a horror...but in the midst of the horror, there is always beauty to be found, if we've eyes to see it.

Theresa sounds like someone who knows how to look.

Shade and Sweetwater,

lisa said...

Always read you, but never comment, but today's blog was so real. It's very easy to get caught up in everyday nonsense that you forget to look for the "moments."

Well done. Thank you.

Marisa said...

I dwell in possibility...
-Emily Dickinson

Theresa sounds like a very wise woman. Even when things seem as if they can't get any worse, tomorrow is a new day filled with possibilities.

beth said...

look at that sweet thing being such a big girl !

and the pedicure photo....too perfect !

I wish I could get my dad or my hubby or even my son to go with me to have daughter is always game, but that's not the same thing !

Sarah said...

Oh hon what a wonderful touching post!! A good reminder for me today. I seem to be all wrapped up in "Stuff"..stupid stuff. Need to get back on track with the moments!
Love the pedicure picture - Teresa's face just makes me giggle.
Hugs to you ..I know this is a hard time hon. Love, Sarah

Kavindra said...

There is really no point in commenting here any more ... you say it all, and perfectly and beautifully. My only comment is always
and then there's
oh, and the ever present
Thank you Holly

(Theresa is delightful, I can tell from that picture.)

spottedwolf said...

The bold and ardent truth again Holly...

That old saying about god laughing harder the more careful we are with our plan for life can ever be shown for the farce it is when reading such a scree as this.

Right on hon ..right on.

Marlene said...

Moments.. thats what life is made up of...thats what we take with us.
Theresa sounds like the perfect person to lead him in his fight. I think the mind has a large part in the fighting..and holding on to those moments gives you strength.
so powerful what she said! a very thought provoking post, as all yours are..Blessings to you and yours.

clairedulalune said...

your sister in law sounds amazing! you are so right, it is the moments, and the photo, priceless! lovely post Holly!

Life With Dogs said...

A great lesson for all Holly, and it didn't even feel like learning. Your father is to commended for keeping it together - and for being free enough to still find the joy in a little silliness. He's got the right spirit, and that is half of the battle (or more depending on who you ask).

Kathleen Krucoff said...

Thanks so much for this. Real clarity here. Life IS about the moments! HoooWahh

Sara said...

What an amazing sister-in-law you have there. When you see her next give her a big hug from me.

Thank you for the reminder to cherish our moments. xx

Eileen said...

This writing was the perfect blend of the sublime (Livvy), the ridiculous (well, at least funny ridiculous) and wonderful wisdom (your's and Theresa's). Thanks for wrapping the reminder up into such a nice piece of writing - lest we all forget!

Not So Glamorous Housewife said...

My kids are in the other room giggling in the bathtub. Gotta go, don't want to miss it.

Alicia @ boylerpf said...

Oh, this is wonderful! What word of wisdom your sister imparted to your father and how true they are. If we don't live for the moments, what is life worth living for? They make everything possible! Love this post, Holly...always insightful.

Cygnus MacLlyr said...

When your post first came up I read for about 30 seconds in a beautiful all blood-red background... then

I like the red, Lady Holly... even though I know it were setup board...
it were cool setup board!

Likely all the bells and whistles made me miss something... something of vital import...



Ribbon said...

Awesome Holly... at this point in time I would have to say that this is my most favourite post of yours... just brilliant :)

big love to you and all that you love

Ribbon x

PS... you only recognise in others what you know of yourself :)

Joanna Jenkins said...

Holly, I've missed reading your posts :-) This was a perfect one to catch up with. Yes, it really is all about the "moments". And those moments add up into meaningful memories that get passed on and shared and captured in pictures!

And Miss Livy! Wow, a month really does make a big difference at her age! She's lovely.

I'm just back from vacation and had to stop to say hello. I'll read more tomorrow. xoxox

Elle said...

What a wonderful post! Life would be perfect if everyone could have someone like Theresa on their side. I hope your Dad has many wonderful moments ahead.

SCJ Jewelry Design said...

Well said. Thanks for the reminder to watch for the moments.

sema said...

Thank you,Holly,for todays message -to find happiness in moments.
I thank you also for your comforting words at my blog.
blessings for abundance

My name is PJ. said...

I have now begun my day truly inspired, by Theresa, by you, and by Carroll. It brought something to the forefront of my brain: When people ask, "Where is God in this?", regardless of the struggles or catastophes we face individually and collectively, the answer is: in the response - the love, effort, care, rallying, etc. Theresa is that. More prayers up for Carroll this morning.

Sr. Ann Marie said...

Yes, moments says it all. I know I've been learning to live and love those moments lately!

Momlady said...

Waiting for "moments" is how I have lived this long and I am grateful for every one of them.

Eternally Distracted said...

A fabulous post and very, very true - Your Dad is a lucky man to be surrounded by soooo much love. The picture is classic ... I don't know what is funnier, your Dad's face or the hysterical giggling. Ace! :0)

Alison said...

Oh Holly, I so agree. I have always said, mainly when talking about teaching, that it is made up of a series of small pleasures. (Such as the 13 year old young man with a troubled past who said to me, somewhat surprised at himself, "I thought I didn't like poetry and now I've found out that I do!") Magic. And life... yes, it's the same thing. Small moments. Magic moments. Great stuff.

Toni said...

CRIKEY! well, I'm already such a blubbering, bawling, weepy, sobby wreck today, this post just feels like a MOMENT all in itself. The picture of Olivia? puhLEASE, how can anyone STAND that and not blubber. 'shut up and drive'. yep. that too. This is a Hear YE post, Baby ... stellar!

joyce said...

Thank-you for the moment. For sharing your sister-in-law's inspirational words. Being grateful for the wonderful moments, and knowing the bad ones are only moments and not the entire future is one of the harder lessons to learn. I'm so glad Carroll knows there are more moments to come.

Sweet Cottage Dreams said...

I just love the photo of the pedicure! These are the moments that will etch in your mind forever. Sweet....sweet....and just loving!

A wonderful post full of truth. Livvy is just a doll!


Big Pissy said...

I was trying to think of what to say and then I read Kavindra's comment. She said it perfectly. :)

Laura said...

Why do you always make me tear up?! I will say it again, this is wonderful and so very true. Life is short, we must all live for those little moments. Thanks for being so creative and so inspiring.
I love you.

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