Tuesday, March 3, 2009

There Are Limits

It's another early morning, thanks again to Fiona, who is still experiencing stomach issues. Same time; same station. The Queen is not amused. This dog...her stomach most likely has a Ridley Scott, Alien in it attempting to emerge. What else could explain what she is doing? One wonders how an Alien ended up in our yard for her to ingest, but I'm fairly certain that's what's going on here. Where's Segourney Weaver when you need her? Since I'm up, I may as well be constructive. So, I'll talk with you. If you don't mind...

"Have you ever thought about writing a book?" I get asked frequently. Umm, sure I have. I like books. A lot. Well, not as much anymore. I used to sit and read for hours. I've noticed over the last few years, I hate to admit this, but I just don't have the attention span. It's a rare occurrence for me to drop into the covers of a novel and be unable to re-emerge until it's finished. I can't say why I changed and I wish I hadn't. I wish I could read like I used to....

Sure, I've dreamed of writing a book. But, I don't believe there's a book in me dying to come out. I pick up a book and it seems a miracle to me. Even ones I don't like. Even those I'm clearly not interested in, are miracles. I think, "How did they ever do it?! Look at the pages there...how did they have all of that in their brain begging to be released?" Me? I'm lucky I can get something here every day for you to consider.

But, miracles aren't common occurrences. So, when I walk into Barnes & Noble and peruse the sale aisle and tables, I start to think, "Ga, anyone can write a book! Look at how many books are here." Check it out, I've seen a bunch of descriptions, "With this first book, (Fill In Name Here,) sets the literary stage for... Debut novel, More to come, Tour de Force.... All these brain children on sale for less than $5. Makes you wonder how a writer must feel to walk in a book store and find their sweat and toil on the sale table for less than the cost of a paperback.

Then I look at someone like Stephen King, and my mind really starts to smoke. Not only are his books complex and often quite long, look how many he's written! The sheer volume of volumes is enough to make you wonder, doesn't it?

One of my favorite King novels is The Stand. Now, that one is complex and captivating. Well over 500 pages. But, years later, they re-released it; this time published as King intended it...and it's longer still! I had to re-read it. Although, I can't say I can identify the additions, but I'm sure they added to the story line. It's a good thing I read it the second time before my attention span shifted, huh?

Nah, I don't have a book in me. There are limits to my writing abilities...

"Holly, you crack me up! Why don't you consider comedy?! You're really funny!" Thanks. Glad I can make you laugh. It's very important. But, stand-up? Me? Nah. I don't see that in my future. I mean, I guess I'm amusing, but only if you know me and can relate to what I'm talking about. Meaning, I don't have it in me to stand there and make perfect strangers laugh. Do I?

My friend, Jen, and I were chatting the other day about how funny she has always found me. She loves some of the stuff I say here. Makes her laugh out loud. Then she went on to describe me as, "You have a way of revealing the absurd." I think that's a very good descriptor. But, I think that talent, if you can call it a talent, makes me more of an observer of the Human condition, than a candidate for comedy.

Nah, I don't have the ability to do comedy. There are limits to how funny anyone who doesn't know me would find me...

"Holly, you're a beautiful woman. Stunning, in fact. Have you ever considered that you should be thinner?" Okay, well that question, friends don't ask me. Although, I'm sure they think it. The only person still alive who asks that question of me, (my last will and testament will reveal the locations of all the bodies who were foolish enough to ask The Queen that stupid question,) is Aunt Katherine. It's her favorite question which starts every encounter we have together. It even supersedes questions like, "So, how are you?" I love it, wouldn't you?

Umm. Sure I think about being thinner all the time. Wouldn't I be just perfect then? I'm sure my life would be so much better. Hell, maybe I'd even be able to squeeze a novel outta this fat head of mine. Definitely, I'd have fuel for a career in stand-up. Who doesn't laugh at fat jokes? Or, all the machinations fat people put themselves through in the quest to be thin?

Fat people don't want to be fat. They're regular-sized people trapped in an overwhelming situation. One that seems impossible to change. Once you know you're fat, it seems you're at that awful spot on the road of life; stuck in the middle. Too far gone to easily turn back, while the end is nowhere in sight. Sigh. If you told any fat person that there is an easy way to skinny, they'd do it. Immediately. They may say otherwise but, they'd do it. It's just not easy. It's simple, but it ain't easy. It takes dedication and commitment. It takes the desire to put yourself first and be willing to do the hard work and make better decisions every day. Eww.

Nah, I can't be skinny...There are limits to how much I can change my shape. Change my life.

There are always limits. But should there be?

There are limits! But, not anymore. At least, not for one of the things on this page.

Namaste' Till Next Time,

1 comment:

Life With Dogs said...

I immediately stopped at The Stand - one of my favorite books as well. I have read it a few times - the first time was an all-nighter in high school and I had to revisit it.

So I see namaste again, do you speak Hindi?

If so, aap kaise hai?

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