Monday, December 15, 2008

Wild Blue Yonder

I am surprisingly sad. I mean, really, really sad. Start-thinking-and-tears-start-sad. Crazy. We've only known each other four years and it hasn't even been a solid block of time. We're extremely different about likes and dislikes. Can't stand each other's choices in music. And, let's not even talk about how he lives in a house vs. the way I want things. So, why the hell would I cry because he is finally leaving today? Just crazy...

I cry because I never thought I'd have a 'son'. The first Michael and I never had children and by the time this Michael and I found each other, we were way past the notion of them. Besides, he already had two great kids that were well on their way to being outstanding adults. So, with Michael came my longed for and instant children. No mixing required; simply add love!

Only, nothing important is ever instant and it took time and effort for us to gel as a family unit. I'm more friend than step-mom but that role seems best suited to my natural abilities. When Evan decided to relocate here, it gave us the opportunity to have daily interaction and we have become close. I admire his wit and intelligence, and his work ethic, and his knowledge of cars and anything mechanical, and his ability to fix things, and his honorable nature, and his willingness to help, and, and, and. You catch my drift.

I not only like him, though, I love him.

Now, as he leaves to start his life in the Air Force, I realize that I've grown to depend on his being here. He's been another family member to talk to and whine to at times. While I've been struggling to find my way in this new place, he has been doing the same and well, I guess it was easy for us to commiserate. Now, in a few hours, I will leave for my job, and he will be leaving for his new job of creating his truly independent life.

It never occurred to me that I would have the blessing of being sad over the notion of a child leaving my address as their home address for the final time. And, I am completely caught off-guard by my mixed emotions. I am so very proud of Evan for taking up the warrior's call for all of our sakes. I am happy that he has finally found the starting point of what, I am positive, is going to be a wonderful life.

I am feeling heart-sore for Michael who, as a great father, is watching his youngest leave his immediate circle of influence. As a former 'Zoomie', Michael is simply beaming to have Evan continue the Frock tradition. I'm feeling a girlfriend's tears and fears as Melissa anxiously watches her baby brother take off far from home and us. And, I am feeling overwhelmingly emotional because my Boy-chic is leaving. What will Rory & Fiona do without Evan's comings and goings to help regulate their day? Today is going to be emotionally challenging for all of us...

They say home is where the heart is, and I believe it is so very true. So Evan, my Boy-chic, as you take off into your wild blue yonder today, know that so long as I have a heart, you have a home. I love you and wish you bright blessings as you go. You make us proud. In our hearts, there is no great distance between us; we are not far. And, we'll be overjoyed when you return.

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka Wicca'd Step Mom

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