Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Forgiveness- Part of Letting Go

Today, as part of the emotional clean-out I talked about yesterday, I'm going to take some time to look over the hard parts of my life. The parts that were delivered to me at the hands of another. And, I'm going to sit in the hard place of reliving the event.

I'm going to deliberately sit in the shadows for awhile today. I won't like sitting there. It will make me feel anxious. And, angry, even. But, it needs to be done. This is the kind of cleaning when you really take a look at the far corners of the basement. You know there are spider webs and other icky things there. You also know that if you really want to make a clean sweep of everything, you have to take a deep breath and dive in so it can be swept out. Otherwise, even though you gave it a good attempt, your basement won't really be clean.

I want my emotional basement, attic, closet, crawl-space clean and ready for the new year. Not just surface clean. I want the deep, satisfying sensation you get after you've tackled a job that seemed daunting; when you worked really hard and at the end of it, you have that wonderful sense of accomplishment. Don't you feel proud of your work?

It's almost like you reclaim part of your space when you toil through a spot that has gone untouched for so long. I always feel like I should plant a flag in it, like you see those explorers doing at the top of mountains...

Forgiveness is the elbow grease that's required in today's clean-up. It's the flag that I want to plant on the top of the emotional mountain. And, it's just as hard to accomplish as if I took the trek up a mountain or through the darkest jungle.

It would be easy to forgive if I could forget. Actually, it wouldn't be required at all. If I never remembered who hurt me and how, I'd live my life with relative ease. And, I think that's what confuses most of us when it comes to forgiveness. We get frustrated because we think, "Okay, I said I forgive her, but honestly, every time I think of what she did, I get so hurt." If we truly forgive, doesn't it mean that we'll eventually forget?


You'll never forget. And, that's why forgiveness is a miracle with which you bless another. It's something that you probably will give repeatedly to a situation, a part of your past, every time your memory drops you back into the dark place. Forgiveness must be given repeatedly.

That's not to say you should continue with a person who always does things to harm you. That would be crazy. Learn to let go of situations and people who never do anything more than wound you. Walk away. Run, even.

But, to those who have brought you life experiences that hurt, while helping you know more about being a Human Being... Those are the ones that you must forgive. Even though you will most likely never forget. Forgiveness given is a miracle that blesses both people. You for giving it. Them for getting it.

We're not supposed to forget. I think that having a memory is the vehicle that allows us to practice forgiveness. Forgiveness for allowing ourselves to get hurt. Forgiveness of the one who did the hurting.

If you need me, I'll be in the basement. Wish me luck!

Namaste' Till Next Time,

1 comment:

raindrop said...

Hi Holly,

Luv the analogy to cobwebs! Thanks for sharing with us all.

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