Wednesday, December 31, 2008

An Open Letter To Spirit

Dear Spirit:
On this last day of the year, I'm sending my regards for another year of growth. For opportunities to expand my notion of who I am and what I know. To learn from others. To learn from myself. To learn about being a Human Being. To learn that I am more than I think myself to be...on most days.

Along with the growth, there have been tears of frustration, of anger, of pain. Tears from fears. Fears that I can identify, and bigger fears that I can't yet name. Fear. Why I am I still so fearful? Help me in this new year to begin to name the unnamed. For, I have learned that when I can call it, and stare at it, its power evaporates and I can be free of it. That is, until the next fear comes along and the work begins again!

Along with fear, there have been moments of bliss. In large things. And, bliss that exists in the unexpected. Those moments of grace when I can sense the rightness of it all. When I feel connected with the truth of me. And, connected with the beauty of this world. Moments like- feeling the comfort of my dogs curled next to me. Like the luxury of a nap on a gray afternoon. The warmth of a cup of tea held in my hands. The crisp cool of an autumn day. The uncomplicated delight in a sandwich when I'm hungry. The mystery of the beauty contained in a rose.

Along with bliss, there have been moments of joy. From welcoming a new baby to Earth. Or, that of a child discovering something new. Joy at the start of a new venture or relationship. Laughter that makes my sides hurt from the hysterical comments that fly when friends get together. From watching the antics of a pet; the birds at the feeders or from a chipmunk who lives in the garden wall.

Along with joy, there have been moments of sadness. Profound sadness. Over the loss of friends and loved ones. For, even though we faithful understand that they are not really gone, as Humans our senses are fragile. And, we are unable to see them. To hear them. To feel their touch. To know, easily, that they are there. It takes time to realize that those who have gone before are still with us and we with them. There's also the sadness in the loss of things that keep us intact, like jobs, homes, our possessions. Sadness for health that is lost and physical abilities that have diminished. Sadness in the ending of relationships that we hoped would last. Sadness in things loved and lost. Sadness in hearts that have been broken open.

Along with sadness there have been moments of hope. In the hope that today well-lived is the best I can do. In the hope that tomorrow will be better when today has disappointed. In the hope that, so long as I have courage to believe, all things are possible. In the hope that we hold for our country and its leaders, for our friends and family. In the tiny hopes we hold for ourselves. In our huge hopes for this world.

While I'm at it, I want to thank you. For walking with me each day of this year, even in those moments when I felt as if I was walking alone. Thank you for giving me the space I need to try things on my own and for assisting when I asked. Thank you for your continual belief in me even when I don't believe in you, or myself, for that matter! Thank you for allowing me to witness your face in the loving eyes of others. Thank you for it all.

For all, in 2009, I wish-
Moments of joy and bliss found in simple things, like the smell of freshly mown grass.

Faith that all of it has meaning and purpose, especially in incomprehensible moments.

Trust that life is good and worth our efforts, even when times are hard.

Knowledge that when one thing is lost, another is found.

Liberation that comes from the willingness to say, "I'm sorry," along with, "I forgive you."

Decernment of what is needed and what is simply wanted; along with flexibility to change when needed.

A sense of purpose coupled with the constant awareness that we are created in your image and likeness.

Courage to live as a peaceful warrior doing the best that can be done in each day.

Love returned ten-fold, but most importantly, the love of Self which is the most lasting love of all.

Peace that exists when living this moment only and not leaping ahead into the unknown that we call Tomorrow.

Gratitude for all that we have, are, and will bring into being.

Grace, to accept things as they are while working toward goals.

Thank you for listening Spirit. Thank you for my life. Even the parts that I cannot easily comprehend. Oh, and if you'll keep us laughing while we discover 2009, that would be wonderful!

Namasate' Till Next Time,


Eileen said...

Dear Holly ... as you are so wonderfully gifted at doing, you said it ALL so thoughtfully and lovingly. I will read and re-read this today and tonight as the New Year is rung in! I look forward to our next time together ... I see this picture of us together again happening soon. Much love to you and yours!


Anonymous said...

"If I could give you one gift my friend, I would give you the abiltiy to see yourself as others see you, so you would know how very special you are."

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