Wednesday, April 8, 2009

The Onion Snow


"This is ridiculous," I huff.

"It's the Onion Snow," Michael replies, "Don't worry, it doesn't last long."

"Onion Snow, what the hell is that?!"

"That's what the late snow that comes in April is called, Onion Snow, because farmers have already put in the onion sets by now."

"I guess growing up in Emmitsburg and helping Mom in the vegetable garden is where you heard that, but that's a new one to me."

"Yep, when you have eight kids, you learn to do as much as you can to make a buck stretch."

"Well, you want to know what I call this crazy snow?"

"What?"

"I call it the, Are You Fin' Kidding Me Snow!"

"Seems like a long title, but okay," Michael replies. Thus the conversation ends.

Yeah....snow. One day, okay maybe. But, I'm on day two of the White Death as my friend, Pete, calls it.

I like snow. Really. But, when you have to hunt for the scraper in April so you can clear off the car?! That's just stupid. If you saw our chaotic garage at the moment, you'd understand how stupid it actually is. But, who wants to leave a snow scraper in their car after March?! By the way, I wish to acknowledge the wonderful work done by Michael in clearing off both chariots this morning before he left. Thank you, My Husband!

I have birds out at the snowed feeder actually seeming a bit puzzled. Can birds wonder, "WTF?!" I'm certain that's what I hear them chirping as they hop about in its depths, making tiny powder puff explosions. Okay, that's kinda' cute...

Cheeky B., the chipmunk is bummed. All that white makes him very easy to spot while he opportunistically feeds at the bottom of the bird feeder. Easier for Rory to go ballistic at the door in an attempt to get at him. I've had to yell at him, "Okay, that's enough," about a million times already. No, not an exaggeration...well, maybe a little...

And, here's the biggest question about the snow in April: Why do we Humans insist on complaining or even making a topic of conversation about the weather?!

Is there one among us who has the power to do a damned thing about it, ever? Not even The Queen of The Universe can do more than regally, "Humph!" Which I will do immediately following this pointless missive. Discussing the weather is equally pointless. Does it ever do a thing to achieve a desired meteorological outcome?

We will go grab our second cup of coffee, stand at the palace window, (okay, it's just the kitchen window, but please don't ruin our illusions/delusions.) We will watch out over the kingdom, and all our woodland subjects out there in the white. We will pull Ourself together in our most commanding QoftheU voice and bellow, "Order! We insist on order in our Universe, immediately!"

And, in the returning silence we consider, if we insist on order, guess it's a good time to go and make the royal bed; it's the only order we're likely to conjure. For, We note the snow is still there. Verily, We are not amused.

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka The Queen of The Universe

7 comments:

melissa said...

"QoftheU"...

FANTASTIC! That should be your license plate.

Love you.
~m

Eileen said...

Are you quite sure there wasn't a collective request from one too many women whose inner furnaces seemed to be set a tad too high? The universe responds so the old adage ... be careful (be very careful) what you ask for!!!

cinner said...

Do birds wonder wtf, I about fell off my perch. I hope the view through your palace window improves, if not shut the curtain...kidding, I do understand your agony. Back tomorrow.

take care my friend, cinner

Toni said...

I miss snow. Haven't seen any in ... let's see, the last time we DROVE up to Flagstaff so the boys could play in snow, my oldest was 14 ... so the last time I saw snow was 8 years ago. eesh. But I saw a chipmunk at the Lake only TWO years ago -- fed him sunflower seeds and took his picture. Fun. And yes, birds CAN wonder WTF ... so can infants who get stuffed into boxes by their Dadddy's for camera ops! (hee)

Donna said...

Believe or not, I still have my scraper in my truck...hahaha!!! I can't believe the Universe does not listen to the Queen, thunderstorms, torrential rain, that will teach them...

Perhaps you could send Toni some FedEx snow...

beth said...

oh baby...I've got names for that white stuff that I don't think I can even share here...YES, they are that bad !!!

I think we are finally done with snow and spring is here to stay...of course I crossed my fingers and toes when I said that and then threw some salt over my shoulder and knocked on wood and jumped up and down on one foot....

and you're right...there is nothing we can do about the weather, but somehow when it's really awful, I feel so much better when I flip it off !!!

Cam@Journey Wildly said...

Umm...there is a house for sale down the street from me.

Just sayin'.

It doesn't snow here.

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