Friday, February 24, 2017

Where To Go And Why It Matters

Right from the top, I'm telling you that these are simply my thoughts.  I truly don't know enough about this lifestyle issue to share facts.  But, writing about it is the way to get my thoughts out on the topic of the president recently rolling back federal regulation, and turning it back to the states, the battle over which bathroom a citizen should use or be mandated to use.

Talk about an over reach of government!  Now they want laws about using a public restroom!!

As far as I'm concerned, this whole controversy is specious. It's not like we have someone standing at the door determining if one has a penis to use the men's room.  Or, if a woman has a vagina in order to gain access to the women's room.

Seriously, if no one is forced to look at your junk while you're in there, then which restroom one feels most comfortable in using is clearly for the individual to decide.

Michael and I disagree on this topic.  He believes that men, e.g. a penis carrying Human should have to use the men's room.; if you have a vagina, you should have to use the women's room.  The whole issue of choice makes him cringe.

Perhaps the confusion is because we're older and more familiar with the labels of gay, lesbian, cross dresser, gender bending, but not as familiar with the concept of Transgender.  Michael feels like Transgender means a person who is, let's say, born a male but 'feels' like they are a woman or a person born a female who 'feels' like they are a man.

I maintain that it's more than that.  There is a vast difference between female and woman.  A vast difference between male and man. It starts with a feeling, yes, but ultimately those who really believe themselves Transgender invest incredible amounts of energy, work and emotion to change their bodies and psyche', presenting to the world their true identity.  It's much more complicated a process than simply a female wearing men's clothes or vice versa.

Again, I remind you that my words here are very simplistic about a life style that is so much more complex.

For me, while I don't really understand what is all the craziness about this restroom issue, I maintain that it is more important and less disruptive for the Transgender individual to use the restroom that is correct for the identity they show the world and not the plumbing with which they are born.

Let me give you an example--  Suppose you and I were out shopping and this gorgeous woman

walked into the restroom with us.  Other than being totally envious of her gorgeousness, the fact that she was in there wouldn't phase us at all.  She'd go to her stall and we'd go to ours.

But, that totally fabulous woman is actually born male.  That beauty is Ms. Laverne Cox who identifies and lives as a woman and works very successfully as an actress.

Now, let's say Michael was on his way into a public restroom and this guy, again totally gorgeous, walked in after him.  However, instead of walking up to a urinal, he steps into one of the stalls available in men's rooms because, let's be honest, sometimes a guy just needs to poop!

Mike wouldn't be suspicious of a 6'2" man going into a stall to do his business.  Except that guy is Casey Legler, a 30 something, born female who works exclusively as a male model! Casey lives life as a man.

Here's my point.....

If Laverne was forced, due to absurdly intrusive laws, to use a Men's Restroom, I believe guys would be highly uncomfortable seeing her walk in.  Just as women would be totally flustered if that hunk, Casey, walked in to use the women's room.

Men don't want women in the restroom (they'll tolerate it at concerts and stadiums when a gal's just gotta go and the line is way too long for the women's room,) and women most certainly have a lot to say about men in the room with them when they're doing their business!  What plumbing they may have hiding under their clothes doesn't cause any issue in comparison to seeing a female where she shouldn't be or a male where he shouldn't be peeing!

If a female who lives life as a man is in a public restroom, I bet my life that (s)he would use a stall, not a urinal.  And, I would bet the same about s(he) who lives life as a woman!  People simply want to do their business in private even when in a public restroom.

Want to limit the drama and confusion?  The easiest way- just hold it till you get home. Or, change them all to unisex. Or, allow who we see to use the one that's suited for the image they present the world.

For those ridiculous enough to take this argument to the extreme, suggesting that without regulations you'll have perverted men who say they identify as women simply to use a girl's bathroom or locker room in order to waggle their penis for all to see, is stupid.  Just as it's crazy to think that a person like Casey would walk in to the boy's for the sole purpose of showing off her vagina.

For those who yell it's uncivilized to have a female in the men's room or a male in the women's room, I'm telling you that it's a lot more disconcerting and confusing to see a woman where she doesn't belong or a man where he shouldn't be!

A truly Transgender individual IS NOT a sexual deviant!  If you have those two things linked in your mind, then do the work to learn the facts!

Anyone who walks into either restroom for the express purpose of  a sexual charge or flaunting their plumbing is an Exhibitionist, not Transgender! Living life as an authentic Human Being is complicated enough without adding this foolish fuel to the fire. Those who truly are Transgender seem to be those Human Beings who exemplify what it means to have courage to live, as my blog title says, "... being a real Human Being."

Being real is not easy and not without risk. Being a REAL Human Being has almost nothing to do with sexual organs. Being REAL is about heart, mind, spirit, soul.

And as far as I'm concerned, your birth anatomy and regardless your self-identify as male or female/man or woman, the only time in a restroom I might raise my eyebrow at you is if you don't wash your hands before exiting! That's what should be against the law in any state!

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka She Who Wants People To Pee In Peace 


Donna Hufman Warrington said...

Excellent read my friend...short story, when the transgender restrooms were installed in the Media Center last year, we really didn't think much about it....they are individual restrooms and I use them as well....the folks in the Media Center stated it was just like home where men and women use the same bathrooms. Really, not a big deal here at Towson but then again, they are individual ones.

Anonymous said...

I don't see what all the fuss is about either because it's been happening for years anyway. It's just that people weren't aware and the transgenders were low key about it. I think where the main issue arises is in schools & parents mostly being uncomfortable with the idea of a male in the bathroom with their daughters. To me the solution to the whole thing is just a little remodeling with private bathrooms with doors that anyone can use. It's not rocket science but these days our government is seemingly more & more involved in every little aspect of our lives. Right down to where we "go."
~T. Williams

At Rivercrest Cottage said...

Amen to your statements. We were on a trip recently and the men's room was being remodeled at McDonalds and they had a sign on the door saying use the woman's bathroom. The women's room had a sign saying men and women would be using the room temporarily. My husband walked in with me and went into a stall. When he came out the look on another woman's face was priceless (she hadn't seen the sign), but she didn't say anything and everyone went about their business of washing up. No big deal. We're in our late 60's and don't know what all the fuss is about.

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