Thursday, October 8, 2009

Livy Inside & Out

Oh, it's that time again! Time for some Livy Love!! Here's the picture I received yesterday:

Imagine this sweetie is nine months old already! Look at her standing there all by herself and very proud. If you click the picture to enlarge it, you'll note how white the ends of her wee digits are as she uses all her might to keep herself upright and steady! I want to just eat her all up with a spoon!!

And, as much as these posts really are about the little girl, this time it's more about Laura' sign. It strikes me that Livy has been out here in the world for the same amount of time she spent 'becoming' inside Laura's body. What a miracle...what a miracle.

I can't put it into words exactly how this makes me feel. I guess I'm just a little awed by it. For, if I've come to love her so much in nine short months, how much more can her mother love her having known her twice that long? Sharing a secret that just the two of them can have. The sense of emotional and mental connection that perked over the long nine months when Livy lived unseen, unformed as the Human Being that we know now. But, Laura knew; I'm sure a mother does. Not that there aren't unimagined surprises now that she's out here with us.

When she was inside Laura, she may have been less of a known entity for us, but I'm thinking that's not the case for my adored niece who communed with her baby every moment of every day over nine months; 270 days more or less.

Don't misunderstand what I'm going to say next. Because I absolutely support a woman's right to choose. ABSOLUTELY. But, seeing that nine month sign-the same amount of time a child spends inside becoming... When I can be so in love with someone who's only been outside with us for nine months, it makes me wonder why we even have an option to consider.

When I see that pink sign that I now associate with a baby I've come to adore, I'm not sure how I feel about the whole issue of choice. Now I'm not so sure in light of how much I'm thrilled that she is here. Knowing how desperately Eric & Laura wanted a baby and how much time, energy, and money they invested to bring a spirit into being, I wonder about those who take the other route. I think about how our lives are richer for this nine month miracle being part of our world, and I wonder about why we are blessed while others find they must say, "No."

Where does that leave me? A little shaken; up until now I've been absolutely certain in this one issue. I suppose I'm absolutely certain that I wish every child was as welcomed and wanted as our Olivia is. However, I'm no longer absolutely sure about the issue of the right to choose being an absolutely good thing. I guess we have to examine our absolutes in light of new information when it's presented.

You know?

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka Great Aunt Holly


Eileen said...

Absolutely ... thus the gravity of it all ... anyone who thinks it's an "easy out" hasn't been in the dreadful place with this decision. I am with you on this one and in the same place at this time with my thoughts.

Anonymous said...

She's so precious!

Toni said...

I love Olivia. man. speedy 9 months.

I feel ... very very very glad I was never in any kind of position to have to consider my 'right to choose'. I was always VERY SERIOUS (& conscientious) about my birth control, because I knew from very early on that abortion was not something I'd be capable of doing, under any circumstances I could imagine no matter how dire. Because PART of that child would have been me/mine, and ALL of that child would've been a living thing to me ... since I wasn't ready for a long time to be a mama, I took care of things. Not everyone is even in a position to be mistress of her own birth control choices ... that MUST be difficult. And from there, the brain can go down a million tangents on the whole topic ...

Joanna Jenkins said...

I look forward to your Livy updates and seeing how she's grown from one month to the next. She's so precious.

As for the right to choose..... I'm 1000% for it and always will be. But...

I am blessed with a child in my life who was adopted and the generosity of that gift leaves me breathless. Like you, my love for him is as limitless as your love for Livy. It's hard to image life without him.

I am thankful I never had to make a choice but I'm glad I had the option.

Very interesting post for 8:45am. I'll be thinking about this all day.


The Fragrant Muse said...

I think you Livey is starting to get a fan club! It is so clever how they put the pink sign with her age and wish we'd done that with our Bean. You know Holly, some day my Bean and your Liv could meet and...who knows? We could be in-laws! Livey and The Bean. Sounds like a comedy team.

I, too, am all for a woman making her own choices, but I believe that each child comes into the world for a purpose with lessons to learn and to teach. To deprive that spirit of those lessons seems wrong.

beth said...

having a child changes your life above and beyond anything imaginable...

yet I'm still for a woman being able to choose what she wants...what she needs..

joyce said...

I never really thought about the fact that a nine month old baby was at the age that she spent developing into her. I wish I had.
I totally understand, its one of those things where just when you knew your thoughts on the subject, something makes them go all wonky. I support the right of a woman to make the choice, but its got to be any awful choice to have to make, one that leaves her wondering for the rest of her life...what if?

cinner said...

Holly, I am amazed at how Livy has grown, She is adorable. I do believe in 100% choice. The abortion issue is one I have pondered all my adult life. As someone who could not have children, I questioned why this was not to be for me, and why some had to make this awful decision. I had to give it to a higher power, that there must be a reason. I am glad I have never had to make the decision. For that I am grateful. I also can not imagine my life without my nieces and newphews. Well you got me thinking my dear friend. Take care.

Rocky Creek Scotties and Java said...

What a cutie Livy is - and I'm sitting right there on the fence with you - abortion has to depend on the situation. I fell blessed it was never a decision I had to make.


Ribbon said...

Babies are beautiful. Just recently I became a Great Aunt too, but I totally support informed choices.

best wishes
Ribbon :)

peppylady (Dora) said...

What a big girl she is. Soon she will be walking.
My youngest one walk at 9 months about.

Coffee is on,

Alix said...

Oh Holly, that precious precious little angel! I don't think I've seen a prettier little face on a prettier little gal in my life.

Well, except for my own little gal - who is now 19!!

Enjoy her. Every bit of her. Spoon or no spoon.

And by the way... until a woman is confronted with having to actually make that choice beyond theory, it's easy to have an opinion and take up sides. Going through the process, having the experience and living with the outcome can be a completely different thing. Some women end up regretting their decision and are haunted by it for the rest of their lives. Some women.

Tessa said...

Holly, you are amazing. You write with a warmth that would unfreeze the coldest of hearts; with sweet, gentle humour; with a sure insight; with love and with much eloquence and wisedom.

Ooooh, that little darlin'! I could scoop her up and huggle her - she is totally, completely adorable. What huge joy and laughter she must bring. And how lovely that she has a Holly in her life!

Yes, I do agree that we have to examine our 'absolutes' very carefully indeed. However, choice is freedom...and freedom is an imperative, I think.

flowers1 said...

Love your pictures of Olivia and this time it struck me ohh the expression on her face was Holly.

Dreamwriter said...

How cute! Those days are fun!

Genie Sea said...

Olivia. Livy. Nine month beauty. Eighteen month miracle. Loved one. Welcomed one.

As to the burning issue. A baby more than anything needs to be loved and wanted. If that is not possible, then would be it fair to have a baby in this world that is neither?

A friend of mine had to recently make this decision despite the fact that she wants to be a mother, that she would make a stellar mother. Her partner was not ready to support her, and she was not ready to take that step alone.

Since then, I have seen her wracked with pain - a deep pain that few of us can ease. I feel for her struggle. I understand her strength. I support her choice.

Because I have also seen babies who have been brought into the world by people who were not ready or equipped to raise them. And it's not a pretty sight, like that of our Livy in Pink.

TechnoBabe said...

What a great way to put it, knowing her nine months longer than anyone else and sharing that together that no one else has. Beautiful.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Popped over from the Fifty Factor. What a lovely post.

miss*R said...

yes, I do know... I think that as things happen in our life, they show us different sides of our beliefs & opinions..

to tell the truth, I don't really know how I feel about 'choice'... there are so many, many arguments out there for and against.. I just don't know how I feel about it..

beautiful, beautiful baby - xo

Jeanie said...

The older I get, the less sure I am about almost everything, including this difficult issue. Everything (including my hair, Im sure, if I saw the real color) has shades of gray.

Sarah said...

Yes Holly I do understand this. Whe I became pregnant with my first I was a single woman of 20 years. Up until then - I was pretty sure I knew what I would do. But...when I had to make that was clear I had been wrong. I kept her..period. Now as for others right to choose..I feel it is a deeply personal choice an done that should not be taken lightly. I guess I am saying - I don't judge or take sides.
As I look at my kiddos..I am glad for the choices I made and know my children are loved. Sadly so many are not and there is where the hitch is no? What of all the sweet children who are unwanted but kept anyway. It is a question I cannot answer and gives me the same deep pain! Wonderful post hon!!
Did you get my email with the attachments? Love ya, Sarah

Big Pissy said...

I DO know. It's an awful decision to have to make.

Olivia is a doll! :)

JFKlaver said...

Livy is adorable and your words fill my heart.

Paula - Buenos Aires said...

That picture with the sign is sooooo cool. :) Great idea. Thanks for sharing.

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