Monday, April 6, 2009

Questions That Begin With Why

In response to yesterday's post, my esteemed friend Mark commented, "This is sure happening a lot lately. The way we've become so disconnected from one another may be at the root." And, like a great many things Mark has said to me, it gave me pause for reflection. He is often the spark that causes me to take internal journeys wondering about the state of things and wondering what I can do to make things better. Easier. More Human.

What do you think? Do you think he is right about this? Is the seeming increase in acts of violence, that actually surprise us in their severity, a by-product of being disconnected? How does this happen?

Is it the fact that we live with computers and gizmo's? That we walk around with iPods stuffed in our ears instead of consciously interacting with those around us? That we are 24/7 available to everyone due to cell phones? Or can it truly be all technology's fault?

Is it that we are Human Beings about to evolve once more into a brave new world? One that we can't yet that is close but presently seems filled with uncertainty? Is it the increasing pace of life? The fact that we seem to be living on hyper-drive? Is it, as I have suggested, that we live in fear? Fear makes us crazy if we are exposed to it for too long without resolution.

Is it, perhaps, because most of us seem to be relatively cut-off from our spiritual center? Not a building, but a part of our souls. That many of us no longer have a working moral compass to guide our actions? That internal mechanism, which unfailingly points us toward True North.

Do most of us even contemplate our relationship with Spirit? What form that takes? What observances we should have as regular parts of our lives? Do we have rituals that help us easily recall our connection to Spirit? Those moments when we make certain that we speak with Source...and listen for Source to whisper back in our hearts and ears.

Do we even know what we believe? Are you willing to quest to find the means and mechanism to further the relationship with the God/Goddess of your understanding? If the traditions you were raised in, no longer fit how you view The Divine, have you gone on a pilgrimage to find the space and place to be in close relationship? Do we understand the difference between religion and spirituality? For, while these most certainly are not mutually exclusive concepts...they do not always reside together.

One may be done is critical to being a real Human Being. But, which one is which is not for this writer to decide. You must know the answer for yourself. The answer is different for each of us...and we must want to define it for ourselves.

What can be done? What should we attempt? How do we each, as individuals, help? Can we help at all? Or, is this unsettled time part of the process? Something we must wade through to get to a better place? A better way of being?

If you're astute, you'll notice that in that entire barrage of questions, there's not a "why" question in the bunch. And, that's because of something else my wise friend Mark once said to me, "I have no answers to questions that begin with 'why'."

And, neither do I.

When it comes to emotional situations. When it comes to the difficult times. When it comes to the hard parts of life, we have a tendency to want to know, "Why?" And, I find that these questions must go unanswered. There are no answers to emotionally charged, "Why's?" No matter how long I ask it, no matter how long I allow my brain to chase it round and round. So, I've stopped asking Why, or at least limit how many times I do.

Instead, I successfully consider:
How can I make today better?
What can I do to help you?
When is a good time to get together?
Where do I stand in relationship with Spirit?
Who is my brother; who is my sister?

Spirit, only, knows the answer to all Why questions. So, I lovingly turn you over to those capable, embracing hands for answers. And, I caution each of us to not get stuck in the Why. Your energy will do more to find answers that benefit all of us when you ask better questions.

Namaste' Till Next Time,


teachable said...

A very wise person in recovery once told me, "Never put a question mark where God puts a period."

Of course at the time I didn't like it. It wasn't the answer I wanted, damn it!!

I was told (CONSTANTLY)by that same wise person, "It is what it is." That, also angered the heck out of me!

Things I don't want to hear. These are the things that beg me to look INSIDE of me for the answers I seek. As Socrates said in The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, "I call myself a peaceful warrior because the important battles are inside."

Epictetus (LOVED that guy!)said, "Learn to wish that everything should come to pass exactly as it does." Equanimity, evenness of mind, is something that isn't always easy for me to come by.

I tend to resist things (bad habit of mine). I am learning, as I fight the good fight, the spiritual law of surrender (or acceptance); which reminds me that stress happens when my mind resists what is. So THAT'S why I'm always stressed! DAH!

In the book, Wisdom of the Peaceful Warrior, Dan Millman asks us to imagine what our lives might feel like if we could just relax our preferences and learn to make the best of whatever arises in a gracious manner, with an attitude of nonrresistance. Novel idea, eh?

I am also reminded (CONSTANTLY; must be important, huh?) that I have much more control over what I do than over what I think or feel.

I have found, over time, that I need to do what I am led to do; instead of asking why THEY aren't doing what they are supposed to do. (I hope that makes sense to's just pouring out for some reason.)

So, the "doing" is important and that for me is keeping current with my Higher Power via prayer and meditation. There is a Sanskrit saying, "yogastah kuru karmani", which means 'established in Being, perform action'. It is only by coming in contact with my own inner Divine Nature that I can perform successful action. Doing these things means that I no longer drive the bus, God does. It is a difficult spiritual practice; surrender and acceptance, but well worth it in the dividends it pays in peace and serenity in the midst of hard times!

Thank you Holly, for the divine "push" was just what this girl needed to think through some of her "whys"...Bless you!

Holly said...

Bless you, Teachable for your insights and courage to share your journey with us. For those of you who aren't familiar with Dan Millman's writings, I'd highly recommend them. Socrates, is the name of the 'muse' that Millman finds one night at a gas station. Not the ancient Greek with whom we might be most familiar.

And, Teachable, like you, I find the medicine that does the most good is the exact same that you don't like or want!

Cindy said...

Holly, as long as we are still thinking of all of this then we have hope. i know sometimes i ask too many why questions, but things always turn around and better days ahead. we can only control what we do and nobody else. hopefully the good will win. Thanks for saying what is in all our hearts.

Erin said...

Sometimes its not so much that the amount of violent acts are up, but more so that the ways we can learn about the violence are too plentiful.

Opie said...

For me there is only one answer to "why?" and that is with the question "Does it matter?" Before I'll ask a why question, I ask myself if the answer to why really makes a difference, will the answer change my reaction and what I do or feel. The answer to that is almost always "no."

As far as the amount of violence, I don't think exponentially there is that much more. It's much easier to get the news. There are a lot more people in this world now than there were even 50 years ago, based on percentages, I don't think there is that much more violence.

Cam said...

We are all so jaded, and numb, and afraid, and angry... not a good combination on even a good day.

But, right at this moment, I am looking at a four month old sweet baby boy as he is sleeping close by me, so I am hopeful for our future. There is so much light, and love, and peace in his little eyes, that I can't help but believe that someday humans will reconnect with that which we come into this world with.

I believe, Holly. I really do.

beth said...

holy cripes....I've been asking myself the wrong question now for a very long time....

I'm going to listen to you and ask it differently {still only to myself} and see if I can get an answer, now that I know I've been going about it all wrong !!!

thank you thank you thank you.....

ps...check your email...hopefully my note didn't go into spam

Anonymous said...

I'm afraid that I'm numb to all the violence of the world today. I hear it on the news, I might sit for a minute in front of the TV, and a tear may run down my face, I may shake my head, say a little pray and go on with my life. There is no answer to WHY it happens...perhaps only God knows.
Every Sunday in church, the Priest will mention the recent violence and ask everyone to say a little prayer…it seems each week, that segment in church seems to get longer and longer…perhaps the questions should be WHAT can we do? WHO can help? WHERE do we go from here?

Anonymous said...

There is only one mind. One great mind. And although they say that great minds think alike, it is more accurate to say that great minds don't think at all.

Why? is the root of all suffering.

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