The Difference Between a Breath and a Sigh

I try not to dwell on the things that trouble me.  I don't like to spend much time being Pitiful Polly in the Mud Puddle.  Sometimes I do better than others to shake of the niggling things that tweak my nerves.  This is not one of those times.

I just said to friend last night, "What is it about the holidays?  They are supposed to be joyful or at the very least, peaceful.  It would appear that for many of us right now, such is not the case.  There is very little merry and bright.  And, I know it's all a question of perspective and the willingness to see the bright in any dark time, but honestly, all I seem to be able to do is join old Charlie Brown and, *SIGH*

Right now, I'm not sure I care if the Mayans are correct.  If the world is ending on the 21st of this month?  Well...

The weather here in The Laurel Highlands is beyond nasty.  It has been gray and dull for days!  Lights on in the house all day with the brightest light being cast by my a computer screen while I spend time catching up on email which is rather thin these days, and Face Book where I snoop at the slivers of info friends and family might post.  Wait, I had to stop for a sip of coffee and a huge *SIGH*

Let's see...there's Fiona who is sick and we don't know why.  More tests start today to see if we can determine what it is; it's leaning towards Cushing's Disease, but that's vague.  Anyone who has animals or children understands how a situation like this can suck the life out of you while your brain runs like a gerbil in a wheel.  You bounce all over the place.  You want to have an answer, but you're fairly certain you may not like the answer.  You bounce between be frustrated, jittery, and you *SIGH* a lot.  The cost of determining what is the issue really mounts up quickly.  You don't want it to be about money because this is a small body you love, but you can't help but be concerned.  So Christmas this year will be spent on a vet bill; that's all right, I didn't see anything I wanted anyway.  That's my story and I'm sticking to it.  *SIGH*

I love you, Fiona; you're only seven.  There's something about your self contained, bossy way that makes me love you even when I can't always like you because you're not all lovey and smooshie.  You're you and well, *SIGH* I'm not ready to consider not having you in my life and...

I am lucky to have a very pragmatic and joyful vet who views me as a partner in the process of caring for my dogs.  I trust him very much.  So, I'll work along with him to see where this latest path of owning and loving a pet leads me.  It's not an unknown road to me, but each time, with each animal, the journey is different.

Last night, while we were watching a movie, we let the dogs out.  Instead of doing their business, they decided that something needed to be ferreted out of a hole and began digging.  Did I tell you that it's been gray and raining for days here?  Yeah?  Well, trust me, it wasn't pretty.  They were, in fact, such a mess that we had to pause the movie and take them up to have baths.  Bathing them means, I get in the tub with them because it's easier that way.  I'm not certain, but I may have mud in my girly parts now.  *SIGH*

I suppose it's nice to have clean dogs who smell of Baby Dog, but really?

Now this morning, Rory is having trouble pooping and looks totally uncomfortable.  He wouldn't eat his breakfast.  He went out three times and circled and circled and circled, only to come inside and have to hunker up.  What comes out of him looks like musket balls.  *SIGH*  That was him; he hates to do bad-boys in the house.  *SIGH* that was me; I can only worry about one dog at a time!

At least Michael is home with me for a few days to be my emotional support.  It's so much easier to be dealing with sick animals or children when you have a partner with you.  I send a prayer up for any single parent who deals with this; *SIGH*

We heard from Evan; he has landed safely in Afghanistan where he will be for the next six months.  It makes me *SIGH* a lot.  He absolutely can't say much to us about what's going on and what he's involved in and with.  We understand that, but it does make for weak conversation.  And, while I do *SIGH* when I think of what he's doing, I also feel the immense pride I have when I consider his absolute willingness to do what needs to be done in the far flung corners of the world our military finds itself.

I have to go now.  It's time for me to drop off a pee sample to the vet.  Oh yeah, standing outside in the rain to catch a urine sample from Fiona?  *SSSSSSSIIIIIIGGGGGHHHHHH*

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka She Who Sighs A Lot