My Lion is away in Texas this week for training. He says it is going well. He's anxious to get moving on his new role in this company that continues to astound him for their principals and the way they conduct their business. More about that another time.
I find that after the goodbyes at the door, I don't mind when he's gone. I miss him terribly, but I don't mind that we're not together. It gives us a chance to coo to each other on the telephone the way we did when we were dating.
Last night we talked to each other countless times on the commercials during "24", one of his favorites. There are rules about watching this show; absolutely no talking while Jack's on the screen. All talking must remain suspended until the commercials. I never broke the rule and it may be why he decided he loves me...I can't be certain. So last night we talked during the commercials like when we were first dating and I love it.
I suppose the 11 years I lived on my own will always color the way I live now. I miss Michael like crazy, but I'm absolutely all right with being here alone. Except last night was trash night and I hate taking it out and that's his job, so...
But there are good things, too. Like this morning... I got out my French press and made the most delicious cup of coffee. The foam that created on the top as the grounds swirled in the boiling water...ahhh, heavenly.
There's lots about me that Michael cannot really relate to, like my obsession with teas, my preference to drink my coffee from a press, rubber stamps. There are others, but let's just leave it here. The beauty of it all is that he accepts them as part of me and loves me because of them, not despite them.
So having the time apart means that I can bring out the French press, and treat myself to the perfect cuppa. So perfect in fact, I'm sharing it with you.
It even came with its very own butterfly to make me smile. See it? Or have I truly lost my mind? Please tell me you see it...
I've been in such a twist lately about all this selling of our home and the unknown of what and where at the end of this part of the journey. So uncertain, so many questions so few answers, so little control over the variables, so, so, so MUCH...feeling so sad about leaving my home here and the neighbors I have been lucky enough to make here. All of which has log jammed my spirit and my thoughts.
I suppose it's only natural to be wistful about saying goodbye to those things....
...saying goodbye to this front door when the time comes.
But after serious soul searching in the quiet hours this week, I realize that all I can do is open my hands, my heart, and my mind to possibility and accept that I must walk in faith in the absence of facts to steer me. I had a long discussion last night with Spirit when I finally said, "I trust, I believe, I walk one step at a time guided by your greater vision and knowing."
This morning's daily meditation, was this answer:
Believe in God's infinite capacity to surprise and delight us with a future that will be blessed in ways we cannot imagine or anticipate.
Thank you for letting me know you heard me.
So today, I spend my day cleaning up the house again in anticipation of someone soon wanting to buy this house so I can move forward to building our home again regardless of its shape and address with Michael....
...and of course, my wonderful Rory & Fiona.
Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka She Who Believes
11 hours ago