Tuesday, February 3, 2009

That's What You Get

Joy of all joy, it's snowing again! Oh my! What a surprise! I'm not sure that I can stand the wonder of it all. See, I told you when I wrote about the first snow fall months ago, that it would come to this. Wonder can turn to disdain in the blink of an eye. Especially if the eye is momentarily frozen by a snow flake! Crappola!

So, I'm wondering....what other industrialized, world-leading nation on the face of the globe uses a rodent to determine how long winter will last? Any other takers? Hmm? Is there a ground hog prognosticator anywhere else? NO! That's because ground hogs are basically only good for standing on roadsides to help prefect your driving skills. They are part of the road hazard course. A lump that jumps out startling your reflexes and testing your ability to stay the course. When you decide to work with a ground hog, that's what you get!

They are NOT weather people. Oh wait, I take it back. Weather people get paid even though they're wrong most of the time. The ground hog simply gets stuffed back in his hole after doing his due diligence. I'm fairly certain no money exchanges paws with him; now his agents, (yes, the rodent has agents,) on the other hand, that's a totally different story. So, maybe they are the same.

In life, in order to be successful, you're told, "Work with what you got." And, if you want to experience an excellent example of that advice, you must go to Punxsutawney and see it for yourself. The entire town industry is built on a rodent. It's annual budget is made on two days in February! Driving through, you'll see multiple statues of Phil. One in front of the McDonald's with golden arches on its chest. The one in front of a florist shop is mosaic with flowers all over. In front of the public works building, Phil is wearing a hard hat. You get the idea. Punxy Phil beeny-babies in gift shops, and on and on. It's hysterical. If you want a room in the one large hotel in town, you'll pay $500 a night! And, get this, thousands of people stand on Gobblers' Knob to watch the event.

An event, I might add, that is rigged! Yep, you heard me, rigged. Yesterday Phil saw his shadow. Hence, six more weeks of this crap. SIX MORE WEEKS! But here's the problem. It was overcast in South Western PA yesterday. Not surprising. You already know we almost never have sunny winter days here. Please, tell me how the friggin' ground hog saw his damn shadow! Anyone? Anyone know?

I see how this works...I suppose if you yanked me out of my dark hole and held me up in front of a zillion cameras with working lights on, I'd see my shadow. Immediately followed by a heart attack. Rigged; six more weeks!!

Though rigged, it could still be changed up a bit. I'm opting for a new prognosticator. Something a little cuter and less likely to bite. Maybe I'll give them Cheeky B. The Chipmunk. Or, let's see, how about a llama? Yeah, next year I want it to be Llama Day on February 2. Punxsutawney Philomena the Llama can stand there, bat her long-lashed eyes, and tell me I'm going to have six more weeks of winter. At least that would be different. Because sure as hell, the length of winter won't be.

Namaste' Till Next Time,


Donna said...

I've always wanted to visit Punxsntawney, PA...if only for the one day, February 2. I think I told you last year that I was planning a trip this year but February 2 came and went and I couldn't get away. I know it's corny but I want to go, just one time in my life...I want to be part of history and YES, it is history. As for Punxy Phil, let him keep his job, he's been doing it for so long...it would be a shame to replace him now.

Erin said...

The British started it....with a badger. No, really, go look it up. ;o)

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