Sunday, July 12, 2015

July 12 Another One

So any way you look at it, today is July 12 and that means I've seen this date dawn exactly 60 times.  60!  And that means that I went from 1 to 60 in a blink of an eye.

If you're younger than I am, you probably won't believe that it goes that quickly, but well, you'll find out.  Really.  It's just a question of time. For some reason, this birthday has really made me think.  60; it sounds so significant.  So old!  When I'm driving along and people look over at me, they're seeing an older woman, maybe even an old woman driving that car.  When I'm in the check out line at the grocery, it's an old woman who is chatting them up.  And on a good day, maybe they don't view me as old; maybe they appreciate me as wise and worldly.  I'm hoping that I'm thought of as that more than old, but hey, I've learned I can't control the thoughts of others.

60 years means I know that I need to be grateful because any day above the grass line is a day full of potential.  And I also realize the truth in the expression, "Do not grieve growing old; it's a privilege denied to many." So, I'm going to really dig down until I figure out what this turning to the start of my Sixth Decade actually means to me, why it seems so large and well, odd.  How can I actually be 60 when in my mind where I live and it's sunny all the time, I'm 28 years old?!

Life has changed so much in so many ways, not the least of it how we acknowledge birthdays.  This year, I received only five cards.  They're lined up on my mantle so I can see the bright colors and feel warm and happy.  Five doesn't sound like many, which it really isn't compared to previous years.  However, I got close to 100 wishes of various sorts and flavors on my Facebook page and my phone and in texts and email.  It's been an absolute blast reading and answering all of them.  Spending time with all of those who want me to remember what I mean to them.  It's a beautiful thing.  Truly.

This past year has been a difficult one in so many ways.  The loss of Rory & Fiona, those beloved Scotties of mine, still shakes me and can leave me sad unexpectedly.  Out of nowhere, they'll show up in my thoughts and I'm not yet at the place where those visits simply bring memories and not the jarrring hole their leaving has left behind. We had months of worrying about Evan during his third tour in the Middle East, but the gift this birthday is he's home state-side once again.

People have moved away, or have moved to Their Next Place.  I miss them, thinking of them often. Yet, I know this birthday means another year where I'm waiting to see who comes into my life to bring new and different experiences.

I have to recognize that if  I hadn't turned 60, I wouldn't be here to wonder about what good things are coming my way; what new people I'm going to meet; what experiences I'll have, so I suppose I'd better just celebrate this day as quite an accomplishment.  And that's what I'm going to do.

Hey, July 12...I've seen you 60 times!  And once again, thank the God & Goddess I have shared my day with my beloved, Michael.  We had meals out and conversation.  We sat in the companionable quiet when words eluded us as we spun our thoughts.  We took a nap listening to the rain drum on the windows. And, I am blessed.

So happy birthday to us July 12.  This is what 60 looks like on me.  And, I'm still a work in progress.

Namaste Till Next Time,
Holly aka She who is older than she once was but not as old as she'll one day be...


Joanna Jenkins said...

Happy Birthday, my dear friend. The crown suits you as do your words on your fabulous blog. I've missed your wisdom on this page but what a nice birthday treat you gave US by posting--

I sure hope I can my next birthday-- heck, any birthday--as graciously and welcoming as you have your 60th. My 60th is less than 3 years away. I've never, ever, embraced birthdays but this post has me thinking maybe I've finally grown up enough to change my mind on the whole b-day thing!

It sounds like you and Michael had a lovely day. And all your birthday greetings! WOW-- And yes, times have sure changed. (I'm guessing Hallmark isn't too happy about the Internet!)

What a huge blessing to have Evan home safe. Thank heavens!

Miss you, xoxo jj

joyce said...

Happy Happy Birthday Holly. Sorry on catching up to hear you lost dear Rory and Fiona. I know how special they were to you. And yes, you are a wise woman indeed.

Rocky Creek Scotties and Rocky Creek Ramblings said...

Dear Heart,

I hate to burst your bubble- but you have lived through six decades and are now starting your seventh!! Of course I'm 1/5 of the way through my seventh!! I'm so glad we're sharing this journey together!!


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